How do you handle conflict when loss is yours?
As an advisor in conflict management and a psychologist, I would approach handling conflict involving personal loss in the following way:
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Validate the feelings of loss and grief. Losing something or someone important is painful, and it's normal to feel a range of difficult emotions like sadness, anger, regret, etc. Acknowledging these feelings rather than suppressing them is an important first step.
Encourage acceptance, not resistance. While the loss may feel unacceptable at first, resisting what has happened prolongs suffering. Gently guide the person toward accepting the reality of the situation, as difficult as it may be. Acceptance doesn't mean approval - it simply means not fighting against what cannot be changed.
Reframe the situation. Help the person see the loss from a different perspective that creates more peace of mind. For example, focusing on cherishing the memories made rather than being embittered about what's now gone.
Find meaning. Explore whether there are lessons to be learned or personal growth that can come from this experience of loss. Having a sense of meaning can provide comfort.
Develop a plan to move forward. Set compassionate goals for taking positive action, however small, to care for oneself and begin reinvesting energy into other areas of life.
Seek additional support if needed. Losses can trigger complicated grief for some. If the person becomes stuck in their grief, counseling, support groups, or other professional assistance may be recommended.
The key is validating the loss, but also empowering the person to process it in a healthy way that allows them to eventually reinvest in life and restore a sense of hope for the future. With time and support, healing is possible.
