@svemirac, I admire your in-depth analysis and refutation of the proposal I made entirely in jest. It's the sort of thing I would do, which is why you get my full upvote today. :)

I am all out of time for sanity and joy. Unfortunately, I also have no wealth, nor title, to show for it. What does that make of me? A damn fool, then, right? Clearly, I should quit my life, and move to the jungle, where I will mingle with an undiscovered civilisation of tree-people and spend the remainder of my days seeking out a pet ocelot.

Okay, maybe a little too much joy, and not enough sanity. Oh well.