The Journey within (Part 2)

I was a little nervous coming into the second ceremony. For some reason I thought it was going to be like the first one even though everyone says each ceremony is different. So after taking the medicine it did not come on as strong like the last one but at the 1hr mark it put me into a sleep paralysis where I could not move my body, but eventually just let myself get taken over by it. I saw a vision of myself shaking a lot of people's hands and a lot of people coming over to hug me and congratulate me with admiration. It seemed as if I was giving some sort of speech or seminar on something but couldn't tell what. I also felt great love for my mom and asked her for forgiveness for taking her for granted at times and making her suffer. I saw myself repaying her for all the hard work she has done to shape me and take care of me. I also saw alcohol and shit food as a huge hindrance to my growth and as things I should let go of in order to keep evolving.

Also at one point I felt like other entities where entering and exploring my body fixing my tissues and nerve's that had been damaged before. They also installed some sort of inner compass that was intended to guide me in the direction that best serves me I guess..still not to sure about this because it is my right to question what they where doing to my body but it somehow felt like it was something good. Not to mention that all this happened while I was sitting in a meditative state with my mouth wide open and head tilted back without me controlling any of my movements. On a different note I felt that these beings/entities where trying to hide something from me. I would ask them "who are we really?" and "what is our purpose as human beings here on this earth"?. They would all go shhhhh! and put their finger on their mouth as if I was not worthy of knowing the answer to my question. I felt like they where teasing me. I could see them hiding behind some crazy contraption while popping their heads out and then hiding again. It was so frustrating and I even felt an intense feeling of anger towards them for telling me not to ask questions like that. This ceremony was very unique in the sense that I had a lot of break through insights that I forgot and was not able to retain but something told me to release any attachment to them. A feeling of reassurance told me that even though these insights could not be remembered they where still imbedded in my subconscious and would come up when I needed them.
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