Struggling with depression in a depressed country // why I haven’t posted in a while
I don’t usually talk about this because I feel like this a very private part of myself which does not define me, but in the end it’s a part of me with a lot of control over my mind and my body, so I decided to tell you a little (at least on the surface) on how I deal with depression in this country, so here we go:
To start with, I have suffered from depression since I was about 15 years old, at that time they did not give much importance to this disease, and people used to confuse it with simple sadness or something simple. Since I was a teenager I did not give him the importance that this needed since I was very much closed and I did not talk about it with anyone, and I assumed that it was only something related to adolescence.
At age 17 I was living alone and these feelings and thoughts had only become stronger and had taken much of my life as I knew it. I did not see the joy of anything, I felt so little, I felt that nobody cared, and that no one would notice if I was there or not, all these thoughts made me think horrible things about myself and whether I should continue to live in a world in which I had no importance.
While all this was going through my mind alone, in the outside world I always gave the impression of a good person: happy, cheerful, always making jokes and making those who were close to me laugh, all this because I thought they would not understand what I was going through and that this was simply the person they wanted me to be, and besides from that I simply didn’t wanted to alarm the people I love.
To make the long story short, at some point I seek professional help, thanks to that, I found some peace and I could concentrate on keeping my life on track and meet the goals that I had set in life (which I have achieved almost all of them) and for a few years, in spite of the disaster that this country has become (Venezuela), I was able to continue on a good path, with one or two bumps on the way but being able to overcome it thanks to the support of the people I cared about and self-love that I have managed to find.
But for the last 8 months, the situation in this country has become intolerable; the economic, social, family and other problems have been increasing at impossible speeds, and I have lost myself in the middle of that storm, and no matter how hard I tried. I cannot recover and put the pieces back together again. I feel that I am not happy where I am and what I do, the truth is that lately nothing seems to make me happy.
Amigo, es importante que le des buen uso a los tags ya que a través de ellos podemos filtrar los post, es decir cuando hables de cualquier tema debes usar los tags que tengan relación con el tema que planteas, en este caso el tag #spanish solo se usa para contenido hispano cosa que no se observa en tu publicación.
perdon, el llenado automático de mi computadora puso los tags, disculpa.