Dear Fiber One....

Dear Fiber One,

Will you do the whole world a god-damn favor and put a warning label on your fart bars?!!

Earlier today I had 1/2 a bar and was in extreme pain the rest of the fuckin day.  

This isn't a 'Fiber Bar'.  This is a fuckin  colon cleansing LAXATIVE BAR disguised as a tasty granola snack.  This thing belongs in the pharmacy section in the store next to Ex-Lax and Dulcolax....not in the granola food isle.

Your product is a weapon of m(ass) destruction.  It is evil created by satan himself.  

WARNING: 

• May cause extreme gas pain...the worst you've felt in your life...for at least 24 hours after consumption.
• Maybe case extreme sphincter burn and explosive diarrhea.
• Be ready to use the toilet 20 minutes after eating, and then every 15 minutes afterwards after consumption.
• May cause 2 hour long farts...loud as hell farts...
• Really meant to be a colon cleanse rather than a snack.  
• Eating one will leave you on the toilet for a day, eating more than one may land you in ER.
• Don't give to friends, family, or loved ones.

Need more fiber in your diet?  Eat a god damn banana.  Want excruciating abdominal pain and win a fart contest? Eat a FiberOne bar.