Who was your first? A rant on the journey so far.

They say you always remember your first.

My journey through life, this planet, reality, matrix, hologram, petri dish whatever you wanna call it, took on a new trajectory for me right after seeing a copy of Zeitgeist and Zeitgeist Addendum. I don’t even remember how it came into my life but after watching it, something shifted for me, I had questions.

It’s the sort of thing that, once you open that Pandora’s box wide enough, you aren’t ever closing it again. I say wide enough because it’s difficult. Some people take a peek and they can’t handle it. Computer says no. But if you pop that lid off, that list of questions does not disappear, it gets bigger. It took years for me to really view it as more than a hobby, yet interest was piqued and in the years to follow I began to look. Things started getting a little heavy around 2012 with all the Mayan calendar stuff and I guess you could say I was ‘hooked’ after that. I found my way over to YouTube and went up and down every rabbit hole I could find. Flitting from this video to that, looking for answers. I was obsessed. For a while, when I had relatively low subscriptions, the watch later function worked a treat because I could spend a few minutes shortlisting videos, watch at leisure, delete and repeat. But I couldn’t keep up and I didn’t know what to believe, conflicting information everywhere about everything. Misinformation and deception right alongside truth spreading gems and every level in between.

And so, the reason I felt compelled to write this today is in part due to a feeling and because I know in my ‘waking up’ I hit a few roadblocks. And I spent lots of energy on things I could have left alone. I don’t claim to have figured it all out but I know what’s helped me navigate murky waters so I wanted to share some ideas, start a discussion, in the hopes it will get people talking because I’m looking around, and it seems to me I’m hearing people in every corner screaming there’s a storm coming, batten down the hatches. And at the same time, the alternative media is divided, squabbling over whether we live on a ball or a plane or what spiritual paradigm you ascribe to. Does it matter? If it does matter to you – why? Do you think it’s helping the situation? Don’t get me wrong, I want to know all the answers as much as the next person and I agree these things do matter but if we are constantly arguing amongst ourselves, not to mention all the paid ‘trolls’ and ‘shills’ in the picture, how can we ever hope to change the situation. We can’t see the forest from the trees.

I’m looking around, and I feel that storm. We’re bombarded, the topics are endless. The utter corruption in the banking system, the political system and alphabet agencies. The political and geo- political gong show around the world by our fearless ‘Leaders.’ Hollywood, Church and the political climate’s dark underbelly or pizzagate being exposed, and all the satanic weirdness in the Music Industry and Hollywood, Yemen’s humanitarian crisis, Venezuela’s humanitarian crisis, the latest out of Saudi Arabia, Artificial Intelligence and D wave Computers. ‘Q’ Anon, Fake news, Flat earth, Nibiru, the Annunaki, the Mandela effect, Antarctica and what the hell is going on in Antarctica, censorship of the internet, Chem trails, GMO’s, False Flags, Corporate agendas, MK Ultra, Bilderberg, Fake news, the Financial Collapse, Cryptocurrencies, Aliens? Demons? end times? Zombie Apocalypse??
And on, and on. Hardly scratched the surface.

When I first started getting into the alternative media, It was difficult because you’re asking yourself to fundamentally question the way you look at, think about and feel about pretty much everything. And maybe you’re doing it alone. I felt I led a double life. It was like a splintering where I had my regular life with friends, family and work but I kept these other interests mostly to myself. As I’m sure lots of people can attest to, waking up can be a lonely process. You want to scream from the rooftops to the people around you, maybe you tried and it wasn’t so successful. So you begin to not really try because you fear the social implications of that action, and the subtle and not so subtle ways bringing up these kinds of subjects with your friends and family can affect your life. All the while, you’re having a total recall eyeball pop, daily, happening in your head thinking, how are you not seeing this?! But like I said, for me, once I opened that box there was no going back.

So what to do about it all. I’ve had ups and downs, been on an emotional roller coaster from elation to depression. Lost focus, gained it back. The way I look at it, where ever I’m getting information from, I practice a sort of non-judgmental discernment about everything that comes my way. I pick it apart, read that article, or book, watch the video, whatever it may be with my mind open, receiving but without believing. Sounds kind of crazy but almost like a meditation I let it wash over me, does it resonate? What questions do I have? Where’s my bullshit meter at? You start to see patterns, repetitions, you begin to get confirmations and slowly you form your own opinions. I don’t claim to ‘Know’ anything, because no one does! Well, there are obviously people in the know – the deception goes waaaaay back but we’re all here just trying to figure it out and anyone who claims to have the proof, or talks in absolutes, you should be wary of. Investigate multiple sources on the same subject. Dig. Listen to what people are saying – even if you don’t believe them, you will have informed yourself and you can form a better opinion because you know the landscape. Regularly examine your sources, and flush out the things that don’t add up. Do they still resonate with you or have you moved on, evolved. Do they fact check? List their sources. Is it just a video with an electronic voice?

If you cannot converse over your medium of choice without being disrespectful, condescending or accusatory – try to correct and examine that behavior, because its ugly and you are not helping. Plain and Simple. When people are those things to you – can you take the high road? Can you realize that biting back only lowers your vibration down to meet theirs. As an all encompassing sort of broad stroke -are you spiritual? Does it make you uncomfortable? If so, why? If something makes you uncomfortable there’s a pretty good chance you have some unresolved feelings around the subject and maybe you should take a non-judgmental look inward and see what you find. Do you meditate? Could you make some space in your schedule for a few minutes a day.

Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned though was how to stop all of it from consuming me. Because it did, I would fret and worry over a dozen ways it could all go to shit. I let my emotional state be taken over by it until I finally had to take stock of what was happening to me, get outside and away from the screens and realize I wasn’t having fun anymore. It was a job. Speaking of jobs, do you like yours? You spend more time at work then with the people you love. If you don’t like what you’re doing, could you take steps to find something you do like because when you get to the end of the line, will you be happy with your complacency?
Yes you should be prepared, have some extra food and water around. Don’t have all your eggs in one basket - diversify your assets, get some precious metals, get some crypto currency or at least get informed on it because at some point, the herd will move and think about how you want to be positioned for that. Get into the community – especially if you don’t have people in your life that share your values because it’s a lot easier with people by your side. Learn some new skills, basically just hedge your bets. Fill in the gaps. Be curious about things, explore artistically, let the fun back in and allow yourself some levity because things are crazy and getting crazier by the day. As the late Jacque Fresco said in Zeitgeist Addendum those years ago ‘This shit’s gotta go’
So. If you’ve read this far, how was it for you? Anything that you want to share?

Who was your first?