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in #blog7 years ago

Something happened today that amazed me and filled my heart with joy. So much in fact that I felt I needed to share it with someone. We'll get to that in a minute though.

Here is a little back story so that this occurrence has the proper context.

I have always been an overly anxious person. Don't know if it is a biological thing or a side effect from things I did as a teenager while my brain was still developing...who knows? Either way I knew for a LONG time that it was becoming a bigger and bigger problem. I spent my twenties depending on friends who could grab a table at a restaurant, allowing me to be the second one into a "situation", if I made it into the restaurant at all. I didn't talk much in staff meetings at work because I didn't want people to know the real me, because they might find me flawed and an impostor to the position I had acquired. I, a musician, missed a ton of my friends shows because I just couldn't. walk. in. alone.

You get the point?!

()

Ok, cool.

So fast forward a DECADE. I have tried to manage this issue on my own. I tried breathing exercises. I tried wearing a bracelet to remind me to say "yes" to life. I tried lots of things. I wanted to do it without pharmaceuticals.

snake-oil.jpg

So here we are, a year ago, and my wife and I decide to put our house up for sale. I begin what would turn into a year's worth of work prepping our house for a potential buyer. Trim work, painting walls, patching holes, maintaining the lawn more regularly...busy busy busy. So one day I decide the laundry room needs updating. I take out the appliances and the water heater so I can paint the walls behind them. All was going SO well - until I hooked the water heater back up. The plumbing was wonky to begin with and I just could not get it connected back the way it was. Water...ugh. Water was everywhere, it was a TINY leak, but it was persistent. I don't think I had good sleep for the next few days. I tossed and turned thinking of the damage that water could do & how I could pay for a plumber. One night I just broke down. I just sat on the couch crying, freaking my wife out in the process, & saying over and over how "if Dad was here he would know what to do" (my father passed in 2015, another story, another day). This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had to do something. Not only for myself, but for this family whose life I was trying to improve.

So I saw a doctor. He described my issues to me before I had a chance to describe them to him. He understood, he listened & he explained what was ACTUALLY going on in that brain of mine. He prescribed a medicine & I began taking it last October. Within a month and a half I could step outside of myself and see the positive effects it was having on my life. My family noticed the change as well. This was a good thing! I felt like I could finally be the person I should have been for forever. It was nice...

I went from worried guy to everything being
()

So, fast forward a few months. My wife has now taken on the role of the anxious one in the relationship as everything to me is "cool, cool, cool". It wasn't a role that she just took on though. My wife has always been emotional, anxious & worried about things that didn't need to be worried about. On top of this she works a very stressful job & is helping me raise a tornado of a three year old. I could see her breaking. I could see the characteristics I had existing in her.

So I made a suggestion that maybe she talk to her doctor too.

Same story with her doctor. Now here we are a few months down the road and we both have this anxious beast under control and it feels amazing!

So here is the thing that happened today that brought all this back home for me and made me type this story out for you.

I was mowing the lawn and my wife and child were watching from the porch. We just moved into our new home a week or so ago so we haven't met any neighbors yet. Across the street a woman is sitting in her driveway watching her children play. From across the yard I see my wife and child start heading in their direction. I knew immediately that my wife had decided to overcome whatever fear she had imagined in her head and go introduce herself and our child. My heart beamed with pride. A few months ago this SMALL thing would not have even been fathomable. I watched them converse and laugh as I finished mowing and as soon as she and our son returned from across the street I rode up to them and told her;()

I meant it, too.

Until next time,
-FunkyAutomatic

*FYI - I'm not advocating prescriptions as a cure-all. It is just what worked for US. If you have any issues such as anxiety, depression, etc...talk to your doctor. Talk to SOMEONE. It can be better.

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