My Hair, Not yours
Today is Monday and with the morning rush and all that, I hope you all are up for the new week. This post is funny now though at the time it happened it wasn't funny at all.
Imagine someone having to tell you the way to live your life, maybe some of us wouldn't even be on steemit because your 'dictator' or should I say 'controller' might not permit it for reasons you find difficult to understand.
"What happened? Why did you cut your hair short?", a neighbour asked me, looking at me pitifully as if I must have undergone a terrible situation.
"Nothing happened. I just felt like cutting it short, you know, see how I look", I replied her.
"Must something happen before I cut my hair?", I asked her, after giving her words some thought.
"You know you are married. Married women are not supposed to cut their hair like this now, except maybe they lose one or both of their parents or husband", she said.
"Wow. Are you trying to tell me that the hair on my 'own' head has circumstances within which they can be cut?", I asked in bewilderment as I was still trying to figure out if she was joking or for real. "I don't think I need the society's permission or wait for my parents to die before I cut my hair if I want to."
"If you were to be from my place, your husband will report you to the family elders and you will be fined.", she continued.
"Interesting", I said. "First of all, I'm not from your place. Secondly, I don't think a woman has to wait for certain reasons before she cuts her hair. She is a human being also, with feelings, preferences and a mind of her own. I don't know about you, but I will not allow myself to be restricted by people's opinion as I have an obligation to love myself", I replied with a note of finality and proceeded to where I was going. I didn't trust myself to continue keeping my cool with such naive and backward idea.
What's your take on this? Do you think a woman has to wait for her husband or parents to die before cutting her hair? What if they die and she doesn't want to have a hair cut?
All images are mine, taken with my FujiFilm camera.
Your comments will be most appreciated.
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First, I would tell you that your hair looks lovely. Cut it how you like and enjoy being you. I do understand, however, that many people see the short hair as a change in life in general. For many women, it becomes a "pain" to keep up with long hair when they have busy lives so many abandon it once they have a husband. This brings me to my next point - most men I know prefer long hair and most women I know understand this. Maybe this is backward, but it is just a reality. I really enjoyed your post and your sharing of this situation. It made me think (and I like to think). I found you through the PayitForward contest. You were featured by @wolfhart, but I've also read your Discord posts as well. Looking forward to reading more. I wish you continued success.
Thank you for commenting. I am married now with two kids and a busy life, you got me there! Maybe in future I will consider the long hair but for now this is what suites me. I hope to see more of you too as I have read some of your posts. Following you already!
You look so perfect, dear. Rock your new style!
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Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! @wafrica is now following you! ALWAYs follow @wafrica and use the wafrica tag!
As a male I would say, yes of course
as the person that I am , I would say : be true to yourself and what makes you happy .
Its all over the place
Thanks dear Knight in Shining Armour.
In some cultures. The cutting of hair represents the loss of a loved one.
I would have reacted a bit stronger when I was younger if it was me approached.
Now a bit older, my curiosity is more metal than physical. at this moment in time, I would ask more of what she believes, in replying to her ask her to tell me more of why the women of her culture do not cut their hair unless. We do not have to live by their rules, maybe with showing them we respect their opinions and are willing to hear them. Not defend ourselves against an alternative opinion. But in listening, we might also improve our self and those around us with a positive influence of acceptance of their belief.
We all need each other, Finding a balance we can all accept is the hard part.
I guess this is what I should have done. Maybe when next I see her I will talk to her about it and try to be more open to other people's belief.
I think African hair is so beautiful regardless of whether it is long or short. I do have a thing for long hair though - and African hair can be so awesome like that! BUT, it is your hair, and as long as you're happy, then you can let your true beauty shine!
I also have a thing for long hair but when it seems you don't have time for it's upkeep anymore due to busy schedules, you choose the easy way out, lol.