Stay out of my personal space

The real challenge in human relationships is to be kind and simultaneously set borders. I don’t know why, but people tend to expand and expand and expand if you don’t stop them somewhere. And by relationships I mean all short of them. At work, in friendships, in couples, even at the super market’s queue.

Personal space is vital for me. Kindness as well. So how can those two be combined in order to be able to breathe and survive this world full of invasive people? Part of my antisocial tendencies derives from the need to be alone whenever I want to. And people don’t get that. They demand. That’s the problem. They don’t ask. If they would asked, you could find a way to deal with it but by demanding you just want to get in your shell and never come out again.

Being kind is my top priority. I don’t want to bring anyone in a difficult position so I guess that’s what I ask from others too. But since nobody is the same and acts the same, “problems” begin. For years I have been struggling to deal with protecting my personal space. I put a huge flashing neon sign PERSONAL SPACE and not only no one seemed to care but also they entered with dirty, muddy shoes in! So I experimented a lot on that. I was trying to let others know kindly what I want, nothing. I was trying to set others some borders, but this didn’t correspond with my personality, I thought I was getting rude, so nothing again. Till I found the best way according to who I am.

Don’t set borders to others, set your own.

Due to my incapacity of letting others know what irritates me on them, I just made obvious of what I am ok with. It is a way of doing the same thing but vice versa. This is a way of showing where the line is and not pointing a gun if they cross it. Thus you can still be kind by still being a human being with his own needs and idiosyncrasies. And you know what? Somehow others respect that, since they have no other option.