I feel I must throw my hat in with those telling you to run. fast. Not even because of the disease, no, but the meth- that's a bad one. One of my closest childhood friends married a man, had children with him, and he was a funny, charming, great guy-- who was a recovered meth addict she found out later. He was clean several years, but he relapsed again and again, and in the end he chose the drug over his family. He hasn't seen his children in years. Thankfully she is now married to a wonderful guy who is adopting them, but the heartache she went through was profound and terrible.
And if you are already feeling this way only a month in...
However, having said that, I know that sometimes the heart and the head do not work together very well. No judgment from me whatever you decide my darling. (Do you have a discord account? Feel free to chat me whenever you want)
After 2 months and half.
I feel very heavy. He came home at 3am sobered up by the drugs and tried to cuddle me and woke me up but I forced myself to pretend to sleep.
I'm sitting at the office and I just wanna cry.
I'm trying to listen some healing music.
For me the problem is not that he has HIV (diabetes is worse nowadays), I could handle it. The meth is the issue. He keeps repeating that he wants to stop and that he is better than that. He keeps telling me that he has everything under control and that he knows that the drug keep him away from me and his work, but then he does the opposite.
You know what is hard for me? That when I see him I feel love.
Oh, I don't have a discord account, rarely I use steem chat.
I'm so sorry you're hurting :( Love can be as terrible as it is beautiful. I wish I could tell you the exact thing you need to hear in order to do what's right for you. But all that comes to mind are platitudes- 'You're too good for this' 'You're strong and beautiful and you deserve better' etc. I know, not very helpful. One thing I tell myself when life is shitty is "This too shall pass". It always does, it's the balance of this earth that there will be dark times and light times. Hopefully we appreciate the good more for having gone through the fucking awful.