April 4, 2020 - Dealing with the self isolation

I wasn't able to fall asleep until about 3:30am, something that has become the norm. Without any plans outside of the house, any type of regular schedule has been tossed out the window. According to my sleep tracker, I fell asleep about 15 minutes of getting into bed. I do remember waking up with some moderate pain in my chest, most likely acid reflux, but I was able to fall back asleep.

I was woken up by a phone call about 3:00pm. I thought I had turned off my phone, something that I have been doing for the last couple of days as I have become even more reclusive. Sometimes I crave being social, but most of the time, I just want to be cut off from the world, except for my computer, where I am able to keep up-to-date on the news and entertainment. I'm not sure why I do this to myself, but it has turned into an unhealthy habit that I have been practicing more and more.

I started the day with catching up on the latest COVID-19 news, both local and national. I then decided to do a bit of house cleaning, as I have been very lax on doing the basic chores lately. I was able to clean up my desk, office and vacuum the house. That's where things started to go wrong. I spilled multiple drinks on my desk, which I ended up getting very angry about and almost thought about breaking some things. I know I have an anger issue, but I was able to calm myself down and just keep moving.

Physically, I'm still having pain. I feel hunger, and my food supply is running low, but nothing motivates me to eat much anymore. I know I am getting weaker and weaker as each day passes and do not get medical help. Unfortunately, unless a severe emergency happens, I cannot get much help, as everything is closed, including my physician's office.

It's been a very gloomy day here, with rain predicted on and off this week. I'm debating on risking my health to start doing meal deliveries to bring in some extra income. At this point, I am almost willing to risk my life just to get out of the house.