Does anyone feel this way?

So for the past two years I've been doing what I enjoy the most, playing video games, vlogging and creating content around it. I thought at the moment I was living the dream and there was no way in hell I was going to fail, after all I was only 24 years old and I think it was a foolish way to look at things and time has proven that to be true. I have not failed yet but my project has not worked either. I think failure comes at the moment you decide to drop a project for whatever reason. You can actually go many many years with a project that doesn't work and not be considered a failure until you drop that project for good.

In my case I have not failed because I'm holding on to my dream of being a content creator in many areas such as gaming , traveling and vlogging but I feel very close to it failure and I am afraid I will let go of that dream in an impulse of negative thoughts. This is why I'm reaching out on this platform not for economic support but for moral support.

Quick background story of how I'm doing what I'm doing now..

Back in 2017 I decided to quit a good job. I had enough money saved up for 1-2 years living not too excessively so I decided to take a risk and go do what I new I wanted to do, create content. I didn't have a plan, I didn't just start little by little, I bought all the equipment I needed and started streaming and creating content through live streams and youtube. As time went on I started to see the realities of being a content creator, it takes time, it takes a lot of patience and it takes a little bit of luck, not any different from any other career in the entertainment industry.

Two years down the line and I'm applying for jobs again and it breaks my heart that I have to go do things that I don't enjoy and I am a bit afraid because I won't have the time to keep doing videos constantly and perfecting my craft. I also know that this is just part of the process of learning and growing, so that is what is keeping me together right now, knowing that and the fact that I have a family that is very supportive.

In the end I know there are others in the world worrying about where their next meal is going to come from so my problem is minuscule compared to those in situations like that.

Happy Holidays!

Thank you for reading :)