Let's Discuss #1: Marriage: What's the Big Rush?
Today in my office, another woman got engaged (30s). Another is going to Paris with her boyfriend for Valentine's Day and is expecting a proposal (30s). Another co-worker (only 25) repeatedly states that her boyfriend needs to propose. Two of my closest friends are getting married (24). My own sister (25) is already married with two kids. There are weddings coming left and right, and while I do work with people older than me (in their 30s), the expected inevitability has always been something I was curious about. This, mixed with me watching the season 1 finale of Master of None, makes me wonder.
Why do people get married at all anymore?
And when they choose to...why do they want to so soon in their life? What's the rush if it's supposed to be forever anyhow?
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all about romance and love and spending your life with someone special. All I want to do is travel the world with my boyfriend and have wonderful experiences with him by my side. So maybe, I'm a pessimist and am scared, which goes against the fortune cookie I got today:
Or maybe I see marriage as a patriarchal institution bent on inciting gender roles, and I wonder why if people want to get married, why do they want to relinquish their freedom so soon? Or maybe, I'm just still sad from the Master of None finale and I'm projecting seeing as one of the scenes comprised of this conversation:
Minister: [imagining their own vows] Do you, Dev, take Rachel to be your partner in a possibly outdated institution in order to have a "normal" life? Are you ready to give up an idealistic search for a soul mate and try to make it work with Rachel so you can move forward with your life?
Dev: I do.
Minister: And do you, Rachel, promise to make a crazy eternal bond with this gentleman who you happen to be dating at this stage in your life when people normally get married?
Rachel: I do.
Minister: I now pronounce you two people who might realize they've made an unfortunate mistake in about three years.
The answer to my question is probably. But what do you guys think? Is marriage something that's not even on your radar? Or are you super excited to get married? Or are you married and have other opinions? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time,
Brianna
Woff, woff!
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Tips:
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Woff, woff! 🐶
Call me old fashioned, but I think it all has to do if you can change with the person you are with. You shouldn't think of it as "I'm compatible with this person right now." but more like "I can change with this person, and they can change with me." Because you will change, and they will too! Being able to adapt to each other and what life throws you is the mark of a good relationship.
good
kr-guide!