2017- I FAILED.

Hey guys,

Most of you may not know this about me, but I’m a student going into 10th grade in 2018. At the beginning of 2017, I was so ready to beat my goals and achieve better than I already did in 2016. 2016 was such a great year for me. I didn't set goals in 2016, and achieved far greater than I had ever expected. I did more than I wanted to ever do academically and in co curricular activities. So in 2017, I vowed to myself I would change everything about me and become a better me. I focused more on lifestyle and pushed to strive better in my academics. I set myself goals, new years resolutions and was more organised, well I think I was more organised. Some of these goals were, like every other person, drink more water, be more healthy, get more sleep, reduce technology usage and so on. I also told myself that since I received multiple awards for academics, last year, I would like to also receive that many the following year (2017). And I also told myself I would do better in sports, I would try harder and be more active. I told myself I would make it to regionals for cross country.

So after all that goal setting, being organised, motivated and ready to conquer. I didn’t do any of it.

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I didn't drink the required 2L everyday. In fact, I sometimes didn’t even drink a litre. I wasn't as healthy as the previous year, still eating 2 or more junk food snacks after dinner and not going for a run, only once every 3 months or so. I also, didn't get enough sleep, staying up an hour later every night as I procrastinated and stayed up to complete assignments. By procrastination, I mean on the computer, on the phone playing games and checking my socials. I pretty much didn't do anything better and in fact did worse than last year in the things I wanted to improve most. Most importantly, was my academics. I wanted more than anything to receive an award at the end of the year, a first in a subject. And yet, throughout the whole year I was hanging onto that 2nd place. Right until he end, I thought I could bring it back and do way better. But what happened was for some subjects, I got 3rd, others I got 2nd. But the thing is, no one cares about 2nd place. No one cares. They only want to know and will remember 1st place. Sitting in the audience of the award ceremony was so hard for me, I really wanted to be up there but I totally prepared myself for that situation. I really wanted to be there holding that piece of paper that tells me I did good. I excelled. I worked hard for something. I achieved something. But I didn’t. I failed.

This is year was overall a tough year for me. 2017 will always be the year I remember and go back to, I wished and will continue to wish everyday until the end of 2017 that I could go back in time. Repeat this year. I wish I had done things differently, I wish that I had done more. I wish I hadn’t failed.

I just wanted to share a bit of my failed year with you guys. I hope you all had a great year and if you didn’t, you’re not the only one. Just know that next year will be the year for you.