Diary of an Anxious Millennial #9- To The Friend Who Is No Longer In My Life

Dear Friend,

I will always cherish and love the memories we had. I will remember the nights of laughing till we hurt, and crying the pain away. The nights we would talk about life and what it meant to us. The days we each pushed through the cruel treatment of our peers. The days we fought, the days we made up. The days we would spend together. The year we spent watching Mean Girls every Wednesday and actually wore pink. The days we would do make up and hair just to walk into town for ice cream or to play on our old school's play ground. The days we spent being angsty and sassy towards our parents. The days we would wait till the last minute to do your chores because we were lazy. The days I felt like your sibling more than your friend. All of those days are days I remember and miss with all my heart.
We have gone separate ways and I know in your eyes I have failed as a friend. You left drugs take over your soul. You are lost in a trap you created for yourself. I want nothing more than you to find happiness some day. To surround yourself by those who are loyal and will love you for who you are. Those who will encourage you to do better, be stronger, and to follow your dreams. Those who will pick you up instead of tear you down. Not a day goes by that I don't think about "What if things went differently" "What if I never moved" "What if I went to the same university" "What if I never left" Every day I wonder where I went wrong. I realize that sure I may have said harsh words, but those words were out of love and kindness. For the frustration of missing my best friend, my sister, the girl I never thought would leave, the girl I never imagined going down the path you chose.

You wont read this, but you are stronger than you think, better thank you think, you have so many people who truly love you and want you to find happiness. I may have failed as a friend to you, but you still mean the world to me. I will always be here and hope that some day when you are ready we can reconnect.