Letter to me...

Hey me, what u got on my mind? I remember back when I didn't have all these heart breaks and emotional bullshit going on and kinda wanted it... well, now I don't.
I keep saying I wanna work on me but I don't see me put in any effort really. I think I'd still make the same mistakes I have made all over again. How do I have issues agreeing with someone saying exactly what I'm saying if I wasn't being dishonest with one of us?... am I lying to myself? I know I'm in the wrong.
Well, I've never been one to push, and I ain't starting now. Gonna repect her wishes, respect myself, and just step back, see how things play out. It feels like I'm going about a circle, I don't need this right now. I need to use this energy to be productive rather than bitter... and its not like she said she didn't like me anyway, sure her perspective would change if I become deserving and a bigger person. That's the least I can offer to her.
So i'll stop talking and start doing, let my actions speak for me. Can't imagine being in a relationship and I can't be spontaneous to the fullest because I'm broke... so the plan is to get rich and approach her... don't need to bring her in on this (me), I wouldn't even wanna be in a relationship with me either with all this brokeness going on. So I'm not approaching her with my bullshit emotions, not until I'm deserving of her. End of discusion... good night me.