Okay, I’m doing this. I know it’s a good exercise to look back on the past and learn from it, to take stock and reflect, but truthfully, I just want to keep flying by the seat of my pants into the future.

I tend to wing it. It’s good to have a plan, and I like to envision my path, but you know it always changes.

However, I adore @anomadsoul and these contests help us get to know each other, so let’s take a glance back at 2018 and see what we find, eh?

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^{Yes, there will be Steemfest pics. Sorry, not sorry.}

Hang onto your surfboard, the waves are rough out there.

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Life is yin-yang, like a swinging pendulum. A yoga teacher once told me to climb up the pendulum, witness from higher up where the swing isn’t as long or weighty. I agree, perspective is important, but so is feeling, fully, because I’m with Thoreau on this one—I choose to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.

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On the whole, 2018 was an improvement over 2017.

Why? Because Steem, and people, and inspiration, and community. So yay! But all those “achievements” I’ll get to in a second. First, let's get that failure thing out of the way.

Failure. I shouldn’t cringe inwardly at that word, but apparently I’ve not recovered enough from being a perfectionist. You’d think, after four years as a full-time mother of twins, I’d have gotten over that already. But no.

I fail all the time as a mom. I fail to get my kids to listen to me. I lose patience. I beat myself up for being hot blooded and short fused when we’re all hungry. If I yell, I usually say sorry afterwards, and talk to the kids about what happened, and we hug it out, but sometimes I lose my shit. Mom fail. Also, normal.

Let’s see, other failures... I meant to edit several manuscripts. I think I only did one full and several partial edits this year, but I’ve been blogging. It’s fun.

I’ve also been creating a ton of music. Months ago I ordered a new microphone and music interface. I completely failed to set them up, procrastinating for weeks. I’m still trying to figure out what software I want to use. This whole thing feels like a fail, but it’s probably an accomplishment, because at least I’m taking steps forward…

There have been points this year where I’ve hit low-lows. There’ve been moments I haven’t liked myself, or my life, drowning in frustration or loneliness or depression, but the beautiful thing is I’ve turned most of those moments into poems and songs.

And right now, six days from solstice, I’m happy with who I am and the life I'm living. #winning

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^{Performing at Steemfest. Photo credit: @hedac.}

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High times.

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I started blogging on Steem in January of this year. Since then, I would count the friendships I’ve made some of my greatest blessings. I’ve been to three amazing meetups, one of them being Steemfest, which was definitely a highlight of my year.

I won a trip to Steemfest!!! I got flown to Poland to perform music! I am still in awe of that, and still glowing from the whole experience. Thinking back to memories of that week will make me happy for the rest of my life. So grateful.

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^{Much fun with friends at the Night of Steem: @yidneth, the @steembirds, @enginewitty, and @edprivat}

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And music! I have music in my life again.

Being a mom changes everything. You hear that a lot, but you have no clue until you’re blasted apart by parenthood. My guitars spent the last three years collecting dust in a closet.

But because of the #openmic community and all the amazing people who encourage music on the blockchain, I’ve written more original music in the past year than in the past decade.

^^ That, to me, is huge.

Having an outlet of expression through writing and music, and having community to share time with has been amazing. It's made all the difference.

Also, I’ve gotten to travel without my kids a few times this year, which is such welcome freedom! It helps me appreciate being home with them more, having that time away. Having that time to be me without having to be mommy.

All of this has translated to greater overall happiness. I feel more myself than I’ve been since before deciding to have kids. I was a mess for a while, but my personal growth this year has been expansive. Yay!

Some days are better than others, but I keep riding the waves, and I catch some beauties, I tell ya. ;)

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^{In Poland with my song-sister, @yidneth. Photo credit: @hedac}

I could keep going indefinitely, I’m sure. I could tag all the beautiful people who won my heart at Steemfest, and all those who feel like family even though I haven’t yet hugged them past a bot on discord.

But I think I’ll stop there. This mama needs some sleep.

Let me leave you with a sneak peek at the song I wrote today, which I’ll have out for #openmic this week. It’s called “You Only Live Once.” This is the chorus:

You only live once
They said, they said
Again, and again
It gets in your head
And you realize
Beyond the disguise
Who you really are
And how far you’ll go

Only you will know
Parts of it will show
Parts of it will hide and grow
No one ever knows
How deeply they will dive
Until they touch the sky
A voice repeats inside
YOLO, YOLO, YOLO

^^ This might be my song of the year. ;)

Thanks for reading!

Whatever happens, keep singing your song!

Peace. @katrina-ariel

Photos mine unless otherwise credited.

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Author bio: Katrina Ariel is an old-soul rebel, musician, tree-hugging yogini, and mama bear to twins. Author of Yoga for Dragon Riders (non-fiction) and Wild Horse Heart (romance), she's another free-spirit swimming in the ocean of Steem.

dragon art: Liiga Smilshkalne

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