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RE: Zombie Coworking and Management Strategies
To: All Staff
From: Shay Perrings
Subject: Bryan
Could someone do something about Bryan? Like move him?? I don't mind the stare really, but he has been dripping something for few days now and the pool has almost reached my station. Oh and who is going the be the new union rep? Not like I am complaining but this "no paid time off" is kind of lame, right?
Shay Perrings
Human Resources
To: Shay Perrings
From: Renee Nouveau
Subject: Re: Bryan
Regarding a "union". Please report to the "union" planning meeting on Thurdsay morning at 10. It will be held in the Employee Reprocessing Center on Floor ♒. There will be a free lunch provided so don't tell anyone about the meeting as we don't want it overrun with hungry people, in fact don't tell anyone where you are going or how long you will be gone.
Bryan isn't on the list of zombie employees. I'm pretty sure he's still human and just has a staring and drooling problem. He won't bother you after Thursday's meeting!
See you then!
Renee Nouveau
Public Relations for the
Secret Society Division
To: Renee Nouveau
From: Shay Perrings
Subject: Re: Re: Bryan
Hey that was fast Renee! Nice to see things moving forward for a change in this company. That Bryan, someone should have fired him by now.
Anyway about thursday? How about we go for a drink afterwards? I would love to show you my spoon collection. Maybe we could even do some shining together. Sure Renee, I will keep my lips for sealed.. till thursday. Totally get it, don't want this to get thrown in the grinder before it is verified.
Shay Perrings
Human Resources
To: Shay Perrings
From: Renee Nouveau
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Bryan
Are you flirting with me? As you know from the mass email I sent to All Staff over the weekend, security guard Hugh Jordan who was definitely not my boyfriend was killed defending the copy machine repair guy on Level ✂ from ravenous mutant plant zombies.
Due to my... er our loss as a company of this tall, strong, brave, and productive security guard I need some time to myself to figure things out and properly mourn.. Thursday is just too soon... so how about after work on Friday?
...er... I mean, Shay, you might see things differently after Thursday's "union" meeting. very differently. So let's just get through that meeting.
Sincerely,
Renee Nouveau
Public Relations for the
Secret Society Division
To: Renee Nouveau
From: Shay Perrings
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Bryan
Whoa, that would be so against company policy! I wouldn't dare.. You know how it is here. One wrong word and you could get suspended for months. Like Linda from the mailroom, she hasn't been around for a while. It didn't pass by my desk anyway..
Right, that was a real bummer what happened to Hugh. Anyway, looking forward to our "date" on thursday lol ;));).
Shay Perrings
Human Resources