My secret weapon is a concoction that is one part comedy and one part confusion.

If I were to grab an accountant or engineer off the street and brought them into my math class... I would be arrested. Because that is kidnapping and kidnapping is frowned upon.

If I were to offer to pay an accountant or engineer to come into my math class... they would laugh at me because they make double not to hear kids whine about teenage drama.

If I were to trick an accountant or engineer to come into my math class... scanning for plausibility... success!

If I did trick anyone, I am guessing Alfred E. Newman here might be able to find a couple of spies to come and break him out.

If I were to trick an accountant or engineer to come into my math class to teach a lesson, there is no doubt that they could explain mathematical computations and applications. I bet they could even help walk kids through some examples. But I don't think most would be very successful (No offense to accountants or engineers, its not their fault. I mean geeze I just tricked them into coming in out of the blue. They have had no time to prepare).

The problem is two-fold. First, "explaining" is not the same thing as "teaching". Second they would only have about 2 minutes to explain everything they wanted because 75% of kids will tune them out after less than 120 seconds.

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Ok this is unfair. I used this for effect but these kids are really being taught to enter emergency numbers into their phones... but the next one isn't.

Looks innocent enough... until you realize what is located just to the right of this picture.

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Quick! Nobody tell them they are walking into a lava pit!

It would be nice to say you can force kids to pay attention to you... but this is 2017. That isn't happening. You can force a kid to look like they are paying attention, but you have no idea what they are really thinking about. (Unless it is a teenage boy and then you have about a 99% chance of guessing what he is thinking about.)

Many people don't know that before you can teach a student anything, you have to make them want to pay attention.

When you are dealing with students with disabilities, who have been beaten down by math for eight years before they even walk in your door, that can be a bit of a "challenge".

One of my favorite ways to get my students to pay attention is by whipping up a little concoction that is one part comedy, one part confusion. If I look out into the crowd and see my kids shaking their heads and laughing while saying, "What the heck does that have to do with math?" I know I have them right where I want them.

One of my absolute favorite ways to produce this effect is by showing a video from MADtv. If you aren't familiar with MADtv, it is a ripoff of Saturday Night Live. If you aren't familiar with Saturday Night Live... it is that comedy show where a skit starts out funny and then goes on for wayyyyyyyy to long (kind of like this post).

I will show you the clip the exact same way I show my class... with no introduction or explanation whatsoever.

First of all, wow! How the heck did those actors memorize all of that? I am sure there was some kind of teleprompter but they definitely made it look like it was from memory.

Second, every time I show this video, I get the exact reaction I was hoping for: utter bewilderment.

Throwing a classroom (or a reader of a post) off balance is a great way to get them to care about what comes next. (Unless of course it just annoys them so much that they hit the back button and go vote on one a @gringalicious posts which are always delightful.)

After watching my students squirm to find ways to say "WTF" without actually saying "WTF", I project this slide onto the screen.

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The first response is always , "No way! They can't even get my order right in the drive through when I tell them no pickles."

Then someone always tosses out, "He talked too fast."

After a little bit of discussion, if they haven't figured it out yet, I show the class this image:

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Almost immediately a kid will answer, "The guy didn't group anything. His order was all over the place."

Winner!!!!!!

Just as they are about to give up on me and simply chalk this up as the moment when they actually saw a teacher lose his mind and become obsessed with hamburgers and fries, I continue with these three slides:

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After two more slides, I completely have them back in the world of math and ready to learn:

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Finally, after sharing a few definitions of specific terms, I show them a step-by-step method to combine like terms:

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Over the next few lessons, as we advance into distributing and evaluating, I continue to use the letters "h" and "f". If at any point kids start to get confused, I can simply say, "Put the hamburgers together", "How many total fries if 7 people order 5 orders each?" or "How much does it cost for all of these hamburger and fries altogether?"

Because the video is so memorable, it is easy for the kids to picture exactly what is happening when they are simplifying algebraic expressions... they are making it easier for the restaurant to get your order right and charge you the correct amount. Duh!

Which is good, because if you ask Leo Getz from Lethal Weapon 2, we all know what they do to you "at the drive-through".

No. I don't show that video to my students.

And now for a money making opportunity...

If you are a student and this post reminded you of a video a teacher showed you (or vice versa), why not write your own post about it? @steemiteducation has just started assigning homework.

Homework? Boo!!!! You are stupid hanshotfirst! Homework is the worst! You are terrible for suggesting such a terrible idea! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

But what if you got paid to do homework?

Would it still be the worst?

Because that is what @steemiteducation is doing. They are willing to reward you for creating quality posts that meet the guidelines of their "homework assignments".

This week, the assignment is to create a post about a video you watched (or presented) in a class. Make sure it is original content (the text only... the video can be something like the one above), is at least 250 words long, and is tagged with "steemiteducation" and "steemhomework". This does not have to be recent. It can be something you remembered from when you were a kid.

For more details and for a place to "turn in your homework", please check out this post.

https://steemit.com/steemiteducation/@steemiteducation/steemiteducation-is-now-giving-out-homework-for-rewards-if-you-want-a-piece-of-the-pie-you-have-to-read-this-post-day-82

All math related images are screenshots from the presentation I created.