Where is the Genuine Idiots' Guide? (A cry for help from the Techtarded)

I remember when bitcoin was relatively new. Like 5,000 btc/pizza new. As part of the liberty and anarchy communities, talk of mining was all around me; but as a techtarded bookworm, my understanding was limited. I wanted to get into mining but couldn't understand what the hell it actually involved.

Pictured: The face almost everyone makes when I try to explain how Steemit generates and pays money

Let me be embarrassingly clear: My most recent foray into computer programming was using "if, then" commands in a 1988 seventh grade elective to make a Christmas tree with blinking lights on a monitor with pixels roughly the size of dice. So while I totally understand the economic benefits of cryptocurrency, the ability to generate it through mining seems laughably beyond my reach.

Stop laughing at me

I'm not stupid, I can google and learn (hell, the house I'm living in wouldn't be standing if I couldn't) but the disconnect seems to be in the lexicon. Those writing even the most accessible instructions and explanations of mining still use terms that are unfamiliar to the coding illiterate and so numerous that googling every single term then trying to piece together how they relate to one another is beyond daunting.

Because it is, unless some hero appears...

Nevertheless! I recently got a full node running, solo-mining monero from my MacBook pro with 8 threads and a hash rate of around 200 god-knows-whats. I'm aware this is ludicrously inefficient and I will likely never see anything from it, but I felt like I needed to see that I could make mining work at all with what I have before investing in hardware (which my husband luckily does understand). The thing is, I hardly know what any of what I typed there means, I am essentially incognizant of how I made the mining happen, and probably could not convey instructions to another layperson in a million years (though if they let me play with their computer long enough I could likely replicate it).

Actual footage of me setting up the node

I don't know if it's intentional - maybe the coding literate feel that those of us who eschewed that learning are just getting what we deserve, or rather not getting what they rightly earned by being code literate. If so, I totally get that. But it seems there are many in the mining community and particularly here on Steemit who genuinely want to see broader understanding and adoption of cryptocurrencies and especially Steemit. I believe if more of us understood the nuts and bolts of them better, that adoption would be hastened and attract a much broader array of people.

Pictured: My Oh! Face. Help me make my Oh! Face, please!

Maybe it's out there already and I've missed it somehow, if so, a link or twenty would be great! If not, maybe someone out there wants to do a series really breaking down cryptocurrency, blockchain, and mining for the genuinely techtarded. I'd be interested in collaborating on something like that; You bring the knowledge, and I'll provide the ignorance-o-meter/translation to lay English ;)

Promise: I'll also provide the goofy hats

If you think this would be a good idea or are hoping someone in the know will at least link us to some info, resteem so maybe the folks who are capable and willing will see it. Thanks!