How to Accomplish a Euphoric Birth

Labor and birth should be a euphoric, empowering experience. You're bringing life into the world! It's truly a beautiful thing, but sadly, it has been tainted by the hospital setting. That's where the stories of pain, mutilation, violation and near-death emergencies come from. Where the horror stories are born along side of the babies. You don't really hear of home birth horror stories... For good reason.

When you think you must go to the hospital, even if you feel you want to, that's immediate stress and worry when you begin labor. When should I go in? Do I have everything? Do I have a ride there and home? Is the car seat ready? You often hear stories of mommas going in only to be sent home until it progresses. More stress and worry. Then there are stories of mommas giving birth in the car on the way, on the side of the road, in the hospital lobby... That's not safe or healthy. That's stressful and problematic. If those mommas stayed home, they would have been comfortable, safe and without the stress of making it to a destination on time, making for a much nicer and healthier birth.

(In Canada, midwifery care and home births are covered and need little investment. To my understanding, other countries have enormous charges for home births. If this is something unaffordable, you can either make a very clear birth plan and back up birth plan, or find out if you have access to a birthing center instead of a hospital.)

Stress induces pain. Pain induces stress. It's an endless cycle, creating an enormous amount of pain throughout labor, and it's kicked off simply by having to go to the hospital. To top it off, they use a pitocin drip as a routine practice for most normal labors, which not only induces contractions, but makes them way more painful as well. They tell you what you can and can't do, which stresses you out because that's not what your body is telling you. You also have little to no power, forced to adhere to hospital policy, and to top it off, they like to make you lie on your back to deliver. Have you ever laid on your back to poop? How do you think that would go? Likely the same way birth goes in that position... Lots of issues and emergencies in which it needs to be manually extracted. It's no wonder many women describe giving birth as the most painful thing to endure these days!

There is good news, though. It doesn't have to be painful! Intense, yes, but not painful. In fact, you shouldn't even feel pain during crowning. You shouldn't tear, you shouldn't have complications, and you shouldn't be scared to give birth, if you listen to your body instead of an outside influence who can't possibly know exactly what's going on inside, no matter how much experience they've had delivering babies. Mind you, there are certain issues that will make you high risk and actually in need of medical intervention, and minor complications that can make birth painful no matter what, but most births should be described as the best day of your life rather than a horror story with a "happy ending".

I've had a hospital horror story, I've had a hospital birth, and I've had a perfect, euphoric home birth that didn't involve any pain or complications. I'm going to tell you what I've learned so that you have a better chance to achieve that!

1. Calm down.

First thing's first; calm down.
Relax.
Breath slow, and deep.
When you go into labor, let your care provider know, let your family know, but stay calm. Don't go into panic mode because it's happening... That will trigger stress, which causes pain, which makes more stress, which takes oxygen from the baby because your breathing gets heavier due to being pained and stressed. That puts the baby in distress from lack of oxygen, which causes complications and emergencies. I actually found myself reassuring my panicked husband that everything is OK, keeping myself and him calm. Stay calm, and let it happen!

We've all seen the birth scenes in movies and shows, and probably Lamaze classes, where they show the laboring mommas do heavy, short and fast breathing. This is counterproductive, as breathing this way raises momma's stress and doesn't allow for oxygen to the baby at a normal, healthy rate. Stay calm when you breathe. Think yoga, breathe slowly and deeply, and be aware of it. This will ensure that baby has the oxygen needed and that you don't hyperventilate and stress yourself out.

2. Visualize

This is the most important step to a painless birth, but largely overlooked and ignored by healthcare providers. This step helps you stay calm and patiently allow the baby to come. With each contraction, commit your thoughts to visualization. Visualize yourself dilating, visualize yourself opening up just a little more each time you contract, while you contract. It helps take your thoughts away from it being painful, in turn making it less painful, and to some degree, may speed things up because you're allowing it to happen, rather than resisting pain and fighting the birth process. Visualize the baby dropping a little more with each wave. Your hips are opening, the baby is dropping down the birth canal and getting ready to slip right through; see it in your mind's eye, don't fight or resist anything and it should help immensely!

Pain is mostly in your head. Take, for example, a story of mine, from when I was a child. I was walking outside in a yard and realized that I was dragging a board around on the bottom of my foot. I thought maybe it was caught on my shoe, or there was some extra sticky sap on it. I tried to slide it off, but it wouldn't move, so I lifted my foot and pulled it off. I noticed a nail on the board, with blood. I thought that was strange because I never felt a thing, even when I tried to just slide it off... surely, pushing it side to side would have hurt! I looked at the bottom of my foot, and there was a hole in the shoe. I took the shoe off and my sock was red. After peeling that off, and seeing the wound, only then did it start to hurt. There is certainly something to be said about pain being in your head! Remember that during your labor, and it should help.

3. Distraction

Staying on the mental aspects of laboring, a good distraction is a great big help! Have at least one support person with you. This person should be encouraged to talk to you about anything and everything will take your mind off of labor, whether that's small talk or intelligent conversation. If it'll take your mind off labor, it's good... just remember to keep visualizing as contractions hit you. I won't go into too much detail on this topic, as it's pretty self-explanatory, and doesn't make all that much of a difference. It is helpful though, so give it a try!

I do have one more tip that I didn't know where else to put, so I'll add it here. If you have someone with you for support, have them put pressure on your love handles during contractions. This is actually an amazing trick to reduce the pain, and it works wonders!

4. Waters

Your bag of waters provides protection. It helps keep labor smooth and tolerable, acting like a cushion between you and the baby. As soon as your waters are broken, labor pain gets kicked up a notch or two, or three! When the cushion is gone, it makes the pain extremely intense. Sometimes unbearable. You definitely want to keep your waters intact until they break on their own, if you want a smooth, and nearly pain free labor. If you're feeling uncomfortable, and feel like you want the waters broken, don't. Yes, breaking the waters does speed up labor, but you really never know how long that's going to be. Labor could be 10 more hours sped up to 8, or you could get lucky and labor could be another hour sped up to half an hour. Do you really want to take a chance? Labor could still be long and breaking the waters will definitely make it almost unbearable for the rest of the labor, no matter how well it's been going so far. Even if it leaves you with intense pressure, don't break them...Remember, pressure is better than pain. Let it happen naturally.

5. Stay active

This is one of the bigger downfalls of going to the hospital for birth, aside from all the interventions... you really don't have the freedom to roam and walk around as you see fit. You're confined to your hospital room, and in most cases, restricted to dragging around an IV. You would be lucky to have a birth pool in your room that you can use, and in the case of inductions, you aren't allowed to sit in the pool at all, even if there is one. Doctors and nurses decide for you whether you should be up and about, or lying on your back. Lying on your back is very constrictive and counterproductive, and it adds to the pain and time significantly. It puts the baby at risk, because lying on your back deprives baby of oxygen that's very much needed for a safe labor. It also slows labor down, largely because you're working against gravity and closing your hips.

For a nicer labor, stay active. Walk around as much as you can, stay upright, or hop in the shower. If you don't have the stamina to walk or stand, sink down into a birth pool or a tub. If it's bearable in the least little bit, stay upright, keep walking (slowly), and don't lie down. You might think going to lie down will give you a much-needed break, but in fact, it's just going to do the opposite. If you're having your baby in the hospital, don't let them tell you; you tell them. Do what you feel comfortable doing, do what your body says, or labor is likely going to be that same clichéd horror story that you always hear...

Keeping active during labor keeps your blood flowing, keeps the oxygen levels high, keeps the baby moving freely down the birth canal, and helps even more by working with gravity to get that baby out.

6. The transition

Every momma is aware of this stage... The stage when the baby is coming very soon! It's the most intense part of labor, and even though it doesn't last long, it feels like a lifetime! Some mommas want to give up, crawl out of their skin, run away from their birth, or just plain stop... "Let's just not have this baby today!" Other mommas withdraw and become focused on themselves, not able to speak or move without total support. They're aware of their surroundings and everything being said/done, but they just can't respond... Unless they feel like there's a problem, (like the baby being stuck,) then they can voice it, but that's about it.

This stage is INTENSE. Nothing you can do about that. My advice for keeping this stage as pain free as possible, is to have a support person there to be your voice, especially if you're in the hospital, because this is the stage that hospital staff feel the need to push pain meds on you, regardless of if it's wanted, needed, or not. You don't need the extra stress at this point of having to fend off the nurses armed with drugs, and also, you might actually be willing to accept drugs and intervention now, due to your state of mind, even if you don't want or need it. Have your support with you, letting them know before hand to keep talking calmly to you, touch you gently, hold your hand, help you move, and just let you know they're there. Good support that keeps you calm is essential at this point. No matter how hard it is, though, just remember that it means your baby will make it's appearance very soon! Remember to visualize at this point, too!

Always remember that accepting drugs or intervention is almost a surefire way to cause complications and c-sections, as well as more pain. The more you allow nature to take it's course, the less pain, chaos and issues there will be!

7. Pushing

The best thing to do in the pushing stage...
Don't push.
Don't resist, but don't push either. Relax and let your body and gravity do the work. Squatting is one of the best ways to do it, also kneeling, floating in a pool, or on all fours on a bed. Sometimes you'll get an overbearing urge to push that you just can't ignore, don't resist that, but don't force anything. Only push when your body gives you no other choice, and only as much/long/hard as you absolutely have to. Let your body do the work. Try not to physically push on purpose.

If you feel you really need to, though, don't worry too much. This tip is mainly to prevent tearing. It's a little bit to prevent complications in the pushing stage, too. But at this point, if everything has been problem free and smooth, there really isn't much to worry about.

Congratulations!

I don't think I need to let you in on how to best enjoy your baby! Bask in the cuteness, lots of skin to skin, and let babe soak in all that wonderful blood through the cord until it stops pumping and shrivels up. Just wait on the placenta until you feel ready... Pushing it out too soon/aggressively can cause hemorrhaging. You'll be quite comfy, though, holding your new bundle until your body says it's time!

I hope this helps some mommas-to-be have the euphoric and magical birth they deserve! We shouldn't hear so many horror stories, I'm in hopes, with this, I can help reduce them. Our babies deserve a peaceful entry as much as we deserve a wonderful labor and birth, where we are fit and healthy in body, mind and soul to take care of our offspring. Healthy mommas matter as much as healthy babies in the end!

Just remember to breath slow and deep, calm down, destress, stay upright, visualize, and let your body do the work... The baby needs to come out. It will come out. Don't fight or force anything! Normal births should be just intense, not described as the "worst pain of all".

If you have previa, multiples or a breech, research thoroughly. They can be delivered naturally as well with the right knowledge...Or so I've read. I haven't had experience to testify to this, but it is worth some serious research if it could spare being under the knife. That is not at all an enjoyable experience. I would take a natural, drug-free home birth any day over a drug laden hospital birth! I had no pain, only intense feelings and pressure when I gave birth without a medical doctor, interventions or pain medications. Meanwhile, I was in horrendous pain at the hospital while taking pain meds, including an epidural. In fact, the epidural was the worst pain to endure.

Practice what I've mentioned here and I promise you, birth will be a much nicer experience! (Be sure to run it by your care provider first, but don't be afraid to challenge conflicting info, either... Ask for proof if you have to!) Good luck!