How To Stop A Cold Before It Starts: The Guide to Defeating Upper Respiratory Infections, Mostly Using Household Items. Also Science!

How To Defeat a Cold or Sinus Thingy: USING SCIENCE!!!!!!!111!!!!

Firstly, prevention is the best cure. Of course. If you're not afflicted yet, be sure you have a healthy, anti-inflammatory diet. Get daily sunlight exposure, (or take a vitamin D supplement) and exercise regularly. Make sure you get adequate zinc and magnesium. Avoid immunity-killing stress. Pet friendly animals, go do yoga on the beach. Meditate and floss daily. Whatever.

Back to reality. Things go astray, and sometimes we catch a cold. Physicians and their assistants will prescribe vitality-sapping antibiotics. Antibiotics simply do not work for the majority of "minor" illnesses. Most common colds and respiratory infections are viral, not bacterial. In fact, those antibiotics can make you feel worse by killing off beneficial bacteria. The "cold remedies" and such available at pharmacies "treat" symptoms. They do virtually nothing to get at the underlying infection causing the problem.

It's time to debug, biohacker style. Drop some science, etc. Our weapons in this battle are: hydrogen peroxide, vitamin C, salt water, baby shampoo, and oregano oil.

First of all, as soon as you start, well, feeling like you're getting a cold, you can try the Life Extension Foundation's protocol for defeating a cold virus early in the game. This is "global thinking," with a protocol designed to rally the whole immune system into action. They recommend using zinc, melatonin, a whopping 50,000 IU megadose of vitamin D, garlic, and cimetidine. Cimetidine is also known as Tagamet, an over-the-counter heartburn relief drug with the ability to boost immune function. Be careful with cimetidine, as it has the tendency to mess with the liver enzymes responsible for drug metabolism-the cytochrome p450 system. Anyhow, I'm not going to summarize LEF's protocol, because that's not why I wrote this.

If I begin to get a sore throat or an ear ache, it's usually an early warning sign for an oncoming infection. The nasty stuff can hide in the "eustachian tubes," which literally connect the ear to the nose to the throat. So, I always keep a fresh bottle of 3% hydrogen peroxide around. Lay on one side, and use a dropper to fill an ear canal with peroxide. It will fizz and bubble like mad. After ten minutes, let the ear drain and dose on the other side. The reaction that produces the oxygen bubbles puts the hurt on whatever nasties are hiding in your warm, moist ear-tube, before they migrate up into your sinus canals and down your throat and into your lungs and blood stream and wreak havoc. If the peroxide isn't fresh, it won't be potent enough to work.

Go to a supplement shop and get Source Naturals Wellness Formula. Take as instructed. It has zinc! It has vitamin C! It has garlic! It has vitamin D! It has a bunch of herbs with fun names, like "boneset" and "horehound." It has a reputation for being the best-selling immune supplement out there. And, it also works extremely well in conjunction with everything else I'm going to mention.

Linus Pauling is the only man to win two individually awarded Nobel prizes, and pretty much founded modern chemistry. Pauling also pioneered a practice called "Orthomolecular Medicine," whereby larger-than-normal doses of vitamins are administered for various ailments. The orthomolecular cure for a cold? A mega-dose of vitamin c. The following procedure is not for the faint-of-heart. Or butt.

Still with me? Go to the pharmacy or health food store. Buy a bottle of straight-up ascorbic acid (sodium or calcium ascorbate are also suitable), either in powder or tablets. Take 8 grams of vitamin C every twenty minutes, for four hours. The Vitamin C will vitalize your immune system. Your body, while under stress, will use as much Vitamin C as it needs to fight off the infection. However, the left-over fraction of Vitamin C is irritating to the gut--the side effect of treating a cold with this technique is a profound and quite explosive sort of diarrhea. I really mean explosive. It's not enjoyable, but it beats having a cold. And if you're willing to spend more, liposomal vitamin C is very effective and will almost certainly allow one to avoid gastric distress.

But, if you're already in the midst of a cold or nasty sinus crap, there are other options. I've found that part of what makes a cold so agonizing is having a face full of infectious mucus, the kind that no amount of nose blowing will remove. A biofilm is created, where proteins cross-link and shellac the sinus cavity. Solution? Irrigate with a neti pot. Neti pots are an Indian holistic healing tool that happen to be completely, utterly and totally peer reviewed as a very good thing for anything sinus-related. The idea is simple: pass a stream of warm salt water through the sinus canal, removing the offending material. There are many types of neti pots, but the best neti pots use positive pressure rather than gravity feed. Which is to say, it's a squeezy bottle rather than an actual ceramic pot. Follow the directions on the box.

The performance of the neti pot is greatly augmented with addition of a few drops of baby shampoo. The detergents in the baby shampoo act as a surfactant, making the water more effective at removing biofilm. I wouldn't recommend anything other than the "no tears" shampoo--other brands can have extra ingredients that will burn and sting and probably make you leave me an angry comment. Better yet, add an anti-microbial, like oregano oil. A few drops of oregano oil go a long way, and more is not better. Too much will make the rinse irritating, but just enough will zap whatever nasties are hiding. Make sure you use clean, sanitary water when neti-ing. If you're brave and willing to really go deep, inhale while neti-ing. The water will enter the upper passages of the sinuses, washing out the deep crud.

The path to total victory over colds and sinus infection is timing. The sooner one realizes that an illness is immanent, the better the results. Every minute without treatment is a another chance for the virus or bacteria to multiply and overtake the immune system. The swifter the treatment, the better the results. Pre-buy a neti pot, oregano oil, vitamin c, etc. so they're at hand. And keep on going, even when things start to feel better. Do an ear treatment in the morning, and before bed. Use the neti several times a day. Your body will know when it's time to stop. So don't stop until it's time.

Please let me know what you think in the comments!

Disclaimer: I have no financial connection with any of the products mentioned, not even a little bit. Nada. Zip. No affiliate links. Support your local businesses, if they're cool. Also, if it wasn't brutally obvious, I am not a doctor. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This essay is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Also: colloidal silver in the ear canal works pretty well instead of peroxide, but I feel like mentioning colloidal silver is a bit too controversial, especially in the lede. I've used it, and it worked for me. Your mileage may vary. Don't just trust me, do your own research. Flossing reduces systemic inflammation. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. I've had colds and repeated sinusitis for most of my life, until I quit eating gluten. Causation or correlation? Who knows. Drink a shot of apple cider vinegar, it's good for everything. Header picture is from pixabay.com, chock full of creative commons goodness
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