If you’re dating someone with depression, read this:

Originally posted to the Octopus Sleep Blog with Original Photo

She’s going to be tired. Constantly. Don’t let her stay in bed all day. She’s not going to want to eat. Make her food any way. She’s going to want to cancel plans just to go home and watch Netflix. Take her out dancing any way. She will look like she’s not in the mood to be silly. Try to make her laugh any way. She’s going to want to cry over spilled coffee. Don’t make it seem like its not a big deal or that she’s being dramatic. She’s going to be happy and sad at the same time, and I know that sounds crazy but it’s the truth. She is going to need constant reassurance that she’s beautiful. Tell her. She is going to constantly need reassurance that you’re not going to leave her.

She isn’t doubting you or questioning your love, depression comes with anxiety. It comes with no appetite, sleeping 10 hours and waking up tired. It comes with the illusion of standing in a room with hundreds of people and being seen by none of them. It doesn’t make sense. It’s impossible to understand so imagine how they feel…. fighting a constant internal battle. So be that support system. Reassure and love hard. Never give up on her. Giving a depressed person hope or security and ripping it from them is just plain destructive and cruel. Be there for her and actually back it up with action.

I’ve dealt with depression for many years and having toxic people around made it nearly impossible for me to heal. My ex was supportive, but it wasn’t enough because of who was taking care of his affairs. If any of you out there have a significant other whom has a caretaker that has a bit “too much” to say about your depression, nip it in the bud before its too late. I wasn’t allowed to express anger or frustration, because if I did, I was “crazy and unstable” when it was THEM that were. Moral of the story: Be there for her, do whatever you need to to in order to make her happy and keep her happy. Don’t get angry because she’s symptomatic or say hurtful things about her problems. This partially led to to my breakup with my now ex-fiance.