Random thoughts

When I'm alone at home, outside smoking some bud, the two main things i'd like to do is either; trying to meditate, or leaving my mind go on a whole thoughtstream and get really deep into all sorts of random thoughtmatter.

As Im growing older, I get to deal with real life more and more. This feeling of going backwards in life, being able to feel all depressed from time to time. Seems like the moments of true happiness are diminishing. But those few moments of joy, that's where the real beauty in life is. These are the moments I'm alive for, they make me feel more happy to be alive, and they remind me of the value of this treasure called life.

Still, the last 3 years seem to be shaking my own view of the worlds because reality didn't really strike with my believes.
So the last few months I've been focusing on trying to make sense of the world around me, and trying to figure out who I am, what I want in this life.

Call me naïve, but I in all humbleness I can tell you what i want. What I want is what I'm loyal to. I'm loyal to the high life. Don't get me wrong, I get high on life more than i know. Trying to to find mental and fysical balance in this world that's what makes me feel at peace.