Baking as a therapy

I had a series of unfortunate events towards the end of year 2020 and the beginning of 2021.Yes I know I did sign up for this heartbreakibg moments too yet from time to time I really need to put extra effort to cheer myself up.

Lately I have found myself baking in the kitchen.More because I am curious if I can create my favorite cakes and pies and secondly because it allows me to reflect on my life in light of the covid stay at home order .I must admit there is a huge part of me wishing this lockdown was more of emotional bliss than the negative vibes.

I wanted to learn baking back home but had no opportunity because I was too busy with work,long distance bf and the lack of an oven.Now that I have time,with an available oven I can use and no bf I find myself doing more self talk than any other time.

I admit I am lonely.I miss home with its pristine beach and warm people.I miss having a bf I can talk my sorrows and share my joys.I miss being unafraid of tomorrow.

I often remind myself that I am blessed more than I deserve.Many are in the same emotional state as I am across the globe.I am grateful for family and friends who sees my flaw and love me just the same.But I sincerely wish I can find someone to cruise this life through old age.

I really want to have my own children and have someone to love and be love in return.The waiting has been emotionally tedious in most days but I pray for faith to trust the process.

Marriage I know isn't for everyone and not everyone who is married is blissfully inlove and loved by their spouse.

Chemistry is really a complex word.Where baking is accurate once you follow the recipe verbatim it is not the case for romantic relationship. If there is one thing I love about baking it is the consistency of result if you follow religiously.

Until I found that love that Shakespeare describe I am unwilling to setlle.I mourn for my lost love I am not ashamed to admit that.Baking makes me deal with my wide range of emotions without being self destructive.Baking indeed is a great therapy for the brokenhearted.

To end let me quote this great poet quote:"love that does not alter when alteration finds".I sob because I love him truly yet I tell myself that as long as I am willing to be open to new experience like I embraced this new baking hobby maybe I will be lucky to find the love my spirit longs for.When that happens I can surely say it was worth many underbaked relationships