You just had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't just listen, you couldn't just ignore this post like you were told to.

I even added in the whole 'STOP sign' thingamajiggy (from pixabay).

But you! You can't listen to instructions, you just do what you want to, even if it's bad for you.

And clicking on this post was definitely bad for you. I mean, my content is terrible. I'm not a nice person, I made fun of you for looking at this, I ordered you around AND my content is terrible.

Too bad for you. You started this, now you have to finish this.

Well, you don't really have to finish it. But that would be fair, wouldn't it? Once you start something, you shouldn't quit halfway. You've already got the terrible habit of not following orders.

Even if they're from an annoying fellow like me. I mean, come on, I'm not only rude, I'm also blunt - have you not seen my name?

Pause while you scroll up to look at my name.

Yeah. You see what I'm talking about. I'm not avoiding the issue, not shortening my name for a cute little nickname, oh no. I just say it straight out.

And that's one of the reasons my content is terrible. I'm way too blunt for you idiots. Let's make a list, shall we? (You don't want to? Do I look like I care?)

1. I do rude things like insult you. I did just call you an idiot, after all. And if I didn't I'm doing so now. Why are you still reading this, by the way? Oh yeah, because I told you to. Idiots
2. I order you around. (See above)
3. I don't post on a consistent basis. I am an alt account, you know. I also have other things to do.
4. That being said, when I do post, I'll probably flood your feed with a ridiculous amount of posts. When I have free time, I occasionally take advantage.
5. But only occasionally.

You may, however want to follow me. Why?

1. If you're into masochism. I am insulting you constantly after all.
   

I don't post every day. If you like unpleasant surprises this should work for you.

I make terrible lists.

And now we move back to the previous list.

1. I make terrible lists. I don't really know why that went under the good things.
2. I probably won't post my best content. I am an alt account, you know.
3. Actually, knowing me, I'll probably post the good stuff here just to annoy my actual followers (Mwa ha ha ha ha)
4. I haven't actually said anything about myself in this introduce yourself post,

Yeah.

Ok.

I'm also terrible at endings.

You can move on now.

Why did you read this, exactly?

Oh right. Because you like not listening to me. Very wise of you.

Oh by the way, did I mention that I'm far too repetitive? And redundant? and extraneous? and unnecessary? and extra? and repetitive?

Meh. You've probably figured it out by this point. Or maybe you're bigger idiots than I thought you were.

Though I don't know what your size has to do with this.

Oh yeah. And I don't bother with pictures half of the time.

Why am I still writing? Why are you still reading?

Ok, I know I'm reposting this and that's a big no-no, but A) I don't really care - I already stated that I'm a horrible person. B) I think the crash from the hardfork counts as extenuating circumstances.

SO you can ignore the @cheetah comment/upvote. Or don't, I don't really care. You may flag this if you find it offensive and you hate free speech.

That guilt trip there, though! ;) Gotta love it.

So, how exactly did you make it down here? And if you had the perseverance for that, you definitely have the ability to toss on a comment stating the name, age, address, of the person you want me to stalk, together with a picture.