confession story. #19

Female, 20
USA

This is actually my second confession here.... I don't know for some reason I regularly follow this page and always love reading their confession. Some confession has left me speechless while some was like "is this even a real story?" Well no offense to them
I was totally lost that Time and that was when I decided to express myself through this page. It was when I had my recent break up with my ex... Mentally ill, lost, tortured with the thought that "am I not pretty enough?" "why did he leave me?" "has he found the other girl who is beautiful and smart?" and all that shits that I think most of the girls have after their break up..... I am not here to give you a lecture or something, but just a message that you all are worth it.
I was in love with this guy, and gave my all to make him stay forever with me. I was with him for 3 months, gifted my virginity....just because he said "trust me, I won't ever leave you." Damn, that word.. Made me give up my all and after some months he comes to me and says I've lost a feelings for you but I still like you and I can still try. I was too afraid to be lonely and I replied "please! Try I am ready to give you time, but don't ever...please don't end this relationship...the tears started to fall and he just walked away. The next day he calls and says he don't wanna try either...he was like what if I never fall for you? I had no answer to that question... Well, what would I say? I just hung up the phone.. And questioned myself... Why am I not beautiful? What did I do wrong that he left me?
I am not saying that all guys are same or you shouldn't trust any guy because he just want you until you are in his bed. Mistakes happen! There was my fault too.. I shouldn't have let me open up that fast or maybe I was too dumb to believe him. Well, it's been a month and this chapter for me already ended. I moved to another city for summer to work(working because I have to make money for my tuition fees). I work in a restaurant and I meet alot of new people and quite a few gave shared there life experiences. I think I now know the importance of life, I don't say that I am mature enough to understand life... But I am learning from my mistakes and have been trying to understand life so far!
You know I am the type of girl who believes that fairy tale stories.... Loves watching DDLJ and actually believes that someday I will also meet my "RAJ". I still do.
So, this confession is the shout-out to all the beautiful girls out there who is crying, locking themselves in a room, isolating themselves for. Their parents just because their man dumped them... MY LOVE it's okay, stay strong, I know it's hard... It's very hard.. "A man whom you thought would always be there by your side and would always make you happy"is not there anymore. I know it's devastating. But trust me you will get over this.good things always takes time. Go and talk with your mom, go out with her to buy groceries, Try cooking new recipes from YouTube, pamper yourself.and
lastly love yourself.. Say no to suicide that's the stupidest thing ever. You couldn't end your life just for one creepy guy right?
Don't cry cause it's over, smile cause it just happened! Take care ❤