Growing up an Atheist, and not knowing it Part 1 (early childhood)

The first memory I have of going to church, not just sunday school, was when I was about. It was a Methodist church that had a big pipe organ and those stereotypical pews that are deceivingly uncomfortable.

All I could think was how bored I was, I had no idea what half of the words I was hearing meant, but damn, that organ was cool. The one thing that did stick though was this concept of "Hell". I didn't really know what it was, but it terrified me, and supposedly there was lots of fire. As I had previously learned thanks to a stove, that shit burns and that forever would totally suck, also no Gameboy colors i hell.

Around this time, I had made a good friend I'll call Bob. Bob and I were pretty much attached at the hip, except for church, so I started inviting him along, and even then, something in me knew that I was doing this for me. Having a friend that I could play with made getting through church easier, plus more time with friends is always better. After a few months another mention of hell came up and then it hit me, Bob was going to hell, and i panicked.

Here I am, a six year old, having a panic attack because my best friend is going to go burn forever. So naturally, I tried to talk to him and get him to "accept christ". I can't even imagine what I tried to say, but it didn't work. In the end i dropped it, mainly because there were more important things, like Pokemon and Toonami. But that fear of hell, and of others that I cared for going there, would be one of the hardest things to shake.