have I been domesticated?
I might have been once again... I received a beautiful gift today and I am still enjoying it, the figurine below is part of the gift, a great one, like the great gig in the sky.
This fox is a reminder of what i want to be.
When i used to live in Venezuela i used to dream to become a Custom biker, dressed in full leathers and riding around like a lone wolf.
Once I moved to France one of the first things I did was to get me a Yamaha Drag Star 600cc because the 1100 was too big for me.
I added a few 200 blue leds to it 2 years before the movie Ghost Rider, it was a cool slow heavy motorbike.
It gave me many many good rides, I went to Dijon, to the UK several times, once to Switzerland (And i got out of the motorway like na idiot and did the Alpine roads in February, without proper winter biker attire, something i am not to repeat ever.
When you were young and your heart was an open book...
So when I was a biker and a free spirit I was happy.
I was not as free as you might think, I used to work in an Oil company and one day I was told I was not suppossed to work in the office in leather jeans.
My boss told me to get a few suits some ties and to have them in the office...
He started taming me, making me fit in, so I did I like money too much so I changed attires.
Off and On I started to become a caged lion in my office, I missed the field, so I requested to return to it.
Then I was able to be a free Biker in my free time, and then I met my wife to be, she was Crazy, nice, beautiful, the black sheep of a former French nobility family, she came with a parent's summer Castle and all, but she was a free spirit, now in retrospective she was as strange as me, and now that i am reading about female Asperger, and I have confirmation from my Psi...(that Aspies attract each other) we unknowingly started an Aspie couple, at that time I was just wondering if i was crazy... And she had the right amount of craziness as to match me.
We started a life together, and by mimics, being forced to spend my summers in a castle (not against my will if i might say) and she pursuing a professional career well we found ourselves following the French version of the Manual for a happy and successful life evidently this was not good for us.
I particularly stopped being what I was, what I felt confortable with, I changed the motorbike for a Beemer, I changed the freedom for a sedentary life, I changed the leathers for Hugo Boss suits, tried many things that were just not me...
Now there is two lessons I learnt this week, the first relates to my past marriages, and how even if they were weird and I suspect Aspies it didn't work, but also we didn't knew we all were so the key might be there.
But the important lesson
And this one came after my friend @por500bolos sent me a biker's song in my previous post is that even after the divorce I have not returned to what I was, basically because I didn't understood maybe that was part of the problem, I kept behaving like a rich spoilt brat, in my Bat Mobile and eating loneliness in nice Golf courses and shit.
I was happier when I was myself, and the last self I remember that was happy was the biker guy.
So I am geting rid of the Beemer and once it sells, I will get me another loud fat low custom bike (I own one but its been parked for so long that i dont want to spend time or money making it road worthy again) A good old Drag Star, or a nice Harley Sportster 883 would do, I dont need speed I need to look all knees and knuckles.
My father sent me this video when i told him
about this we are discussing here...
I want to find a 3rd Aspie girl
One that knows and accepts she is an Aspie and that makes me feel at home, that we can work together, and that we can support each other IN THE KNOW!
That is the variable I want to change in the equation, as the Aspies I have loved before have given me very good years of complicity and passion, Aspie's love is unconditional until we turn it off, Aspie's love is strong as a fortress, and if nurtured and understood from an Aspie to another it might just work, because we will be able to avoid getting to the I need my own safe space phase that points the turn of things.
I am heading now to spain
I have someone in mind, and she knows it, but she is not ready even thought she knows what i am talking about...
Wish me luck!
I will need it, this is a extremely exciting adventure for me, because I will be trying something new, which is old, but from a new approach.
I have learnt a lot about myself this last weeks, I am basically surrounded now... But I like it, and I know where i am going...
At worst I will die with my boots on!
By way of deception thou shalt make war.
"Where there is no guidance, a nation falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."
Proverbs 24:6
Thanks for the mention Mr. Narvaez. :)
And I'm glad that the biker's song I've sent you had some positive effect on you as to simply lead you consider a few options in front of you to make your life a lil bit more satisfying from now on.
Yeah, resurrect, cultivate and take care of that free spirit that you've been storing inside you along all these years.
We have to be faithful to our true essence. Everything else are just momentary masks we need to wear often just to please for a short time to those out there who we love the most with the illusion and mirage that it's the only way possible to receive back their own attention and love too. But that's never the case. Authenticity will always have the major weight.
And muchiachio... how many times have you rolled through the hot asfalt since that old photo was taken in which you appear lying on your Yamaha Drag Star 600cc like the apparently true rich spoilt brat you were at the time? Comparing some 'features' with what we could appreciate nowadays in your humanity, I could pinpoint a few mild changes. Yeah, for the better. Of course. };)
And obviously you can count I'm wishing you all the luck of the world on your way heading now to Spain in search of your foxy lady looking to match the sibling of that figurine above you received as part of the gift of this great gig in the sky. That's all we both really need to know. Yeah!!
As for the rest of the story still to be written, I will stay alert and aware of the news. Since only just God knows how many things we've already tried before.
Cheers!! :)
No brother it was not in spain that i would look for the foxy lady, anyway it is over now, moving on.
Now my mission is sex buddies or hookers but within a maximum distance of 100km
The gift was great but did not last.
Sheesh mate! that was fast then. I suspect you are stepping the accelerator of your Bat Mobile way too deep these days.
Everything is over now and you are moving on?
Holy Moly! then watchout and once you've sold your beemer, maybe better you purchase a slower mighty bike like this below:
Instead of that good old Drag Star, or a nice Harley Sportster 883 you have in mind. };)
He who lives fast... Dies young...
I just ask for a safe port to fix the boat.
But there was no reply from the port... The port wants to be alone and is happy like that.
That is why it was so fast, and even if intense is over now
Oh! I see. Then no problem. Go ahead with your plan and mission to find only sex buddies or hookers making sure her names are Lorena.
I've heard these kind of motorbike prototypes are the best for the job. :)