[Gardenia 14] The need to belong

Humans are social animals. Evolutionarily speaking, it is fair to say that social bonding has helped us survive. It is a tough world out there, and we have a lot better shot at thriving if we're sharing resources and responsibilities, protecting and supporting each other in groups. The is not say you need to be joined at the hip with everyone-our social needs have to be balanced with our autonomy, or sense of personal control, so we feel both connected and independent. However, sometimes we are denied that sense of belonging. We have all experienced the pain of being ignored or rejected at some point in our lives. It is worse than just about anything. The evidence for this is bundant - one recent study suggested that teenagers who had a sense of belonging to their community had better health and emotional outcome than those who did not feel like they belonged. Cultures all over the world actually use ostracism, or social exclusion, as a type of punishment whether it's kids in time-out, adults in exile, or prisoners in solitary confinement, separation feels like a punch in the gut