If you have been influenced for 16 years, then you are already part of it and it is normal that you feel that way, because you have surely lived beautiful experiences that you compare with the European mentality. You do not need another planet, you just need to enjoy what you do, your daughter, the culture of Indonesia and everything that makes you happy, although I do not know if it is so simple for you. Do not stop writing, many appreciate what you do. Best regards, wonderful mother.