Out of the darkness and into the light.

I think I should first state that I am a sceptic. I do not believe in ghosts, extra sensorial perception, the fate written in the stars or democracy, although I have an affinity for these subjects since I was a little boy.

Then, I should confess that I meditate before I go to sleep, consult the horoscope every now and then when things go awry, and I do Tarot readings.

Bit of a weird hobby for a sceptic right? Tarot reading? Well, it is not really a hobby, it's actually my main interest and vocation.

Being completely honest, sometimes, when I do a reading, I feel a little shame for what I do and what my words could possibly mean for somebody else. After all, it is a great responsability, and not giving the querent exactly what they expect from me (namely, divination) is a bit of a moral problem, but that is just cold logic trying to win me over. Truth is, reason and science have my back.

This is the part of the text when we go back in time...

I used to be a believer. During the early 90's I scavenged the magazine shops of my town searching for articles about the paranormal and the occult. UFOs, ancient civilizations, secret societies, the real life of Jesus Christ, enchanted places, haunted houses, deals with the Devil. A little later, when I was 13, I discovered Poe and Lovecraft, poetry and madness. As a teenager I was so into it that I really hoped to be abducted by aliens, or use a ouija board to communicate with the other side, explore the earth beneath the earth, become an immortal vampire. Then came science, atheism, critical thinking, existentialism (is there a pattern here?), that finally lead to scepticism (and cynicism, I admit).

In my twenties fantasy and mistery turned to raw realism and social awareness. And reality was too much to handle. Social injustice, senseless violence, terrorism masking corporate greed, ecological crisis. The world was indeed full of misteries, but the truth behind them was terrible and ugly.

I turned cold, I turned bitter, I grew up...

Now, it may be the leftover of the Generation X thing, but when science gave an explanation to everything, reality lost all magic to me. I ended up permanently depressed, I gave up on living a life of purpose or a chance of enlightenment (what for? materialistic fulfillment?). Life was black and white, and even love, drugs and sex had a logic behind that cut off their edge.

When you reduce everything that exists to mathematical formulas and chemical reactions, life loses all chance to surprise you. You know what to expect, how it comes to you and how to get out of it. At least that was what I thought, what made me bitter and cynical, until I realized that it all was just another layer of reality: the grey area between expectation an knowledge.

A couple more books, a couple more years of experience and finally I realized: the trick is to find magic where there can´t be none.

Enter: ART

Whoever claims that there is no magic in this world has not experienced real Art. Certainly, Art is just another form of human expression, one that can be quantified, analized, deconstructed and explained in million ways, but although Science can get its hands all over the subject of Art, it fails at really defining it, decisively.

The reason is simple, Art is not a physical manifestation of the electric impulses in our brain, it is the expression of our Soul. It comes from deeper within. It is not just emotions and technique, it is a signal coming out from the areas were the microscope hasn't found anything yet.

Our individuality is the big question, our consciousness. If the machinery is the same in every human body, why there's just one of us? Who are we, what defines us, and how do we know all this? Why do we even care to ask about it? There is just so much there that we cannot fully explain. We can even see our conscious being in a scanner, our level of awareness of our reality, but we can't really explain what makes us unique.

So, there's the mistery, the magic that I was looking for, and at the same time, the explanation for many of the misteries that flooded my imagination as a kid.

In psychology we found out the reason behind religion, ideologies, beliefs and rituals. In psychiatry we found out about ghost, demons, fairies and aliens. More reasons to be a sceptic? Not at all! Knowing that the origin of these phenomena is within our minds turned them into something even more menacing and mysterious, they are even more real. Because our mind is the realm where everything happens. Outside is uncertain, only inside is definite and real.

So, the kid inside came back alive. I started reading horror with delight again. I fell in love with poetry again. I painted the walls inside of my conscience electric blue, orange and pink, and refurnished my mind.

Well then, why Tarot reading?

After my journey of discovering the magic in life, I ended up as a sceptic of sorts, but I am also an Art lover. For me, Art is the manifestation of this magical realm inside us all. Through Art we connect. Art is the medium that helps us reach within each other and communicate beyond the misunderstandings of the word. So, from music to sculpture, to dance and literature, all forms of Art are a sort of Magic that not only communicates but also changes our lives. And Tarot is pictorial art turned into a full language.

There is science behind the Tarot, and it gives it logic and a purpose. I will go into more detail in my next entry. If you are interested in more Tarot and more Art please follow me, I will be goind deeper into Art as a Healing method during the following weeks.

Thanks for dropping by!

M.