Half a year with Skipper ... Learning to trust each other.
Trust is courage and faithfulness is strength.
And then six months have passed before I realize it. Half a year with Skipper!
And what a change the dog has gone through since he has lived here. When he first came here he was a dog clearly looking for guidance. Someone he could and could trust, someone who could give him clear instructions, and who told him it was okay. A dog who was looking for confirmation and who only wanted to do good. Afraid of doing something wrong. Afraid that he would be rejected again, which is not so strange when you consider that he was only eighteen months old and should have moved for the second time.
Third time that he had to get used to everything new
For him this was the third time that he had to get used to a new house, new environment and new people around him. No wonder he didn't want to give his confidence right away ...
But underneath all that was still a young open dog who really wanted nothing more than to trust the person who cared for him, and to do things TOGETHER with that person, to discover the world and to build a bond. Knowing that the human being loved him too, and giving his heart and soul for that human being.
Difficult first month
The first month was difficult. Not least because Lana became in heat after Skipper just lived here for 1 week. That was a really difficult time, both for Skipper and for me. He barely knew if he could trust me and dared to trust me, and now I was also the one who had to put him in a separate room because it was simply not an option to keep the three dogs together. Very sad and the little boy clearly did not know where he stood. Fortunately, Myla decided that she lived with Skipper and stayed with him often… which I was very happy with. Because even though I tried to spend a lot of time with him myself, I couldn't pass up my daily things and I couldn't leave Lana alone all day. Because where Skipper had a hard time because he didn't understand, Lana also has it very difficult at such moments because she is blessed with a good dose of separation anxiety. Which manifests itself in unclean behavior if she has to be alone for too long or too often. I literally felt split in two, and I still felt a lot of grief over Rowan's passing. Poor Skipper couldn't help it, but circumstances left me longing for Rowan and I made comparisons between Skipper and Rowan that were invariably in Rowan's favor. I forgot that I had Rowan with me for 11 years, and poor Skipper was only just here. And with the big difference that I bought Rowan as a pup of 9 weeks, and Skipper a teenager of eighteen months who was also totally upset because he had to move to an address for the second time in his short existence. Where Rowan was very open and affectionate as a puppy of course, Skipper was a bit reticent and quite closed.
The circumstances that first month made it difficult for me to really build a relationship with him, because I also had to exercise my authority quite often. What do you want when a bitch in heat walks past invitingly with her ass wagging her tail and you are a young male who just then discovers that he is a man, and what that means to him. Everything in him was screaming for that bitch in heat, and I was in between. Doing everything I can to tell them apart, which meant that I often had to perform harder than I would have liked for Skipper in his first weeks here at home.
A new period started with trying to the dogs with each other
Fortunately the heat passed and we were able to start over with the dogs to bond with each other. Myla had already been successful in the passing heat (advantage of a sterilized bitch), and Myla and Skipper could already be taken out together a few times every day, which saved me at least four walks a day. And I was very happy with that! Now I got to the point where I could also involve Lana in this, but of course she had to make it difficult again! If one dog is difficult in everything, it is Lana. If I ever thought about a dog before that it had a difficult nature, I now know for sure that they were wimps compared to Lana. And even Lana is very sweet in her own way. So I also include her many peculiar character traits… After all, she is the way she is. And one thing is clear to me. Yes, I raise my dogs, but they can keep their own character. At the most, I try to polish it up a bit.
But the same way as I think it needs to be with people, "You chose someone as that person is ... not the person as they could be." That also applies to the dogs for me. So also with dogs I try not to change their character, I try to control it by taking each dog individually into account.
And in order to do the latter well at Skipper, I now had to spend a lot of time with him. Because in his first month I had barely had time to get to know HIM. And he got to know me from a side that is not my normal behavior.
Now that the situation had calmed down, this nicer phase could begin. And again I noticed at first the anticipation and the somewhat reserved behavior of Skipper. He was clearly still in the appraisal phase of what he could do with me, and whether he could trust me.
Taking it EASY on him
I decided to take it very easy with him. Not over-asking, and letting him make the decisions himself when he wanted attention. I involved him in everything and noticed that he found that especially very pleasant. But he didn't really come and get a hug yet. He was near me so he wouldn't feel alone again, to keep an eye on me, but not yet because he wanted to be with ME so badly. Of course, that also takes a lot of confidence from a dog, and that sometimes takes time. Sometimes even a little more time than you expected in advance. Even though I know that Skipper was treated well by his previous owners and that they loved him a lot, I don't know what happened in his first 10 months. And a divorce from an owner is trauma to a dog anyway. Small or large will only become apparent later.
Growing trust in each other
After another two months, I noticed that Skipper was increasingly pushing his nose against my arm, sitting next to my office chair and then really asking for attention. That was a big victory that showed that his confidence in me and in his new situation was really starting to take shape. In the meantime I had also tried a few times to let him run free during the daily walks and that went well. He listened right away when I called him back, and wouldn't walk far from me. Time to train a bit more with him, after all he was a reassigner for a reason. He also has a few things that need some guidance and direction… And now that he started to trust me more and more, the time had come to start working on that. No matter how difficult, he is big, and very strong… And now I had to find out what he reacts very strongly to.
Time to start the training
Now it was time to try to get him used to other dogs. That is his biggest problem. He goes mad when he sees other dogs while on a leash. And then it is very hard work for me to keep it. To give you an idea. I am not very small at 1.73m, I know about 63 kilos… but Skipper weighs 45 kilos. And if he uses all his strength, that 45 kilos of his is equal to about 90/100 kilos. Just keep that on a leash. The force that hits your arms is gigantic. But what must, that must. Although I did not intend to go into it immediately, of course. First from a distance and every time make that distance a little smaller, but then by paying close attention to Skipper, stay just in the zone that he feels just safe enough. And that's not a workout that you can do in a few weeks. Certainly not if you live in the countryside, just like me, so you don't always meet other dogs!
So we are still in that same training now, although I have to say that we are already well advanced. Where Skipper used to bounce when he saw a dog 200 meters away, he can now get up to about 50 meters from the other dog. And so it builds up until he can finally see another dog without acting weird.
I think my arms will be 2 meters longer by the time we're done with that training. LOL …
In addition to that training, he also had to learn to walk neatly on a leash. Fortunately, that went very quickly. And with this I noticed that Skipper is very eager to learn, is very smart, and has humor. So we are now half a year since the first meeting… and so many things have been improved, changed and put into operation.
Skipper now has given me his trust
Most importantly, I am now 100% sure that Skipper trusts me completely. The best confirmation of that came unexpectedly from my sister. I don't see her that often anymore. In the six months that Skipper has been living here now, she has been here twice, and the first time Skipper has only lived here for 6 weeks. The last time was last week, and then she said… Skipper looks a little more naughty, but beyond that, he's just as loyal to you as Rowan was.
When I hear such a compliment, I know that my feeling was right. Despite the difficult start, despite the fact that some obstacles had to be overcome.
We are becoming a team.
My little Skippyboy and I ...
