An update and time for me to 'fess up.

Day 1 of no smoking went well, while en-route to Sofia.

Day 2, arrived Sofia to stay with friend and begin our cleanse (Oshava diet) the following day. Late afternoon of day 2 some of my words triggered friend, resulting in judgements and blame from her. I decided to be silent so as not to feed the drama, but that seemed to trigger her even more with her then asking me why I was there if I would not speak. So, not wishing to be around when not wanted, and while being judged and blamed (imo) I decided to leave. It was dark and late though so I decided to sleep in the car (no problem, had been doing so quite comfortably for previous 3 nights if my trip), but friend persuaded me to stay and begin the cleanse next day as planned, which would undoubtedly be good for us both. I agreed.

Day 3 of no smoking and first day of cleanse. All good. Eating Linet (Einkorn) an ancient grain, and buckwheat, and brown rice, with gamachio (spelling?) and Tamari for better taste. Drinking only sage or cinnamon tea. Quite tasty. Feeling some emotional discomfort, nothing I can (or am trying) to pinpoint, but it's no big deal.

Day 4, all going well up until mid-afternoon when friend starts "demanding" me to help her with some chores she has to do, then judging when I don't immediately jump to it. Judgements continue so I choose to leave. It was fairly amicable separation with a hug as I leave, but I was feeling more intense emotional discomfort. Driving home (about a 90 minute trip) I decide to buy tobacco and some non-cleanse food. Aware that I am sidestepping (yet again) opportunity for emotional integration, and attempt to breathe through it, but in the end I still broke my non-smoking plan and my fast. Message if apology came from friend, and we are ok. Both just continuing to live our patterns. This too will pass.