It’s the end of the world as you know it. Cities are burning down. The Powers That Be have scurried to their million dollar bunkers they were scammed into buying during the last apocalypse in 2012. Macy’s is in shambles, and looters are doing the happy dance over their pilfered flat screens.

Until they get them up the stairs and remember the electricity went out yesterday.

You barely made it out of your apartment building which is systematically being being ravaged room by room.

What’s a girl to do?

First things first, ditch the high heels. Sure they helped you climb the corporate ladder, but they will only make you easy prey for a range of problems starting with blisters and ending with predators. Your very best friend will be a quality pair of broken in hiking boots. Layer your tootsies with a light layering sock then a pair of thick wool socks to prevent blisters and ensure walking comfort. Packing a square of moleskin to apply when you feel friction will ensure a comfortable journey. And take Lieutenant Dan’s advice and change your socks whenever you break.

Bug Out Bag

Dig out your old college camping backpack. You may be able to fit the entire contents of your closet in your Coach purse, but lugging that long distances while constantly switching shoulders will compromise both your center of balance and patience.

Whichever Bug Out Bag (BOB) backpack you choose needs to be filled with only the essentials. Items you will need for survival to help you get to safety. Having your BOB packed and ready for an emergency, as well as field tested is essential! The moment the Shit Hits The Fan is not the time to realize you packed too much to carry! Don’t be like Reese Witherspoon- you don’t need a backpack so big it needs to be named! :)

Take a weekend hiking trip, or at least a day hike, with your pack full of what you propose you need.
Water is important, as is a sterilization method. LifeStraw is good for short term, PurifyCup for medium, and iodine tablets for a longer term. Just follow directions and, just like with anything, be sure to test it before you need it.

The Heat is On

Knowing how to make fire is a survival necessity, plus it makes that squirrel you just caught more palatable. Magnesium sticks are small and portable, and still work when wet unlike that cheap 711 lighter you keep in that altoids tin with your roaches.

Kick A$$

Your parents made you take Judo classes in third grade, and you are a regular at Kickboxing Tuesday at the gym. That is a decent start, but a few Self Defense classes are a must. What do you do when a crazed mad man who’s after your food and body suddenly jumps on you? Practicing real life fighting skills is a necessity; a class every woman should take- read the news is you need more convincing. Police departments usually offer them for free, and Armageddon aside, allows you to practice fighting off a real attacker out to harm you. Hesitation equals death in a survival situation.

Home Sweet Home

You’re gonna need to find a suitable crash pad. In an urban landscape you can find everything from abandoned building to trash dumpsters. It must keep you safe from both the elements and mobs of rioters and scavengers. Now is not the time to kick up your nesting instincts- the uglier the better! If it looks warm and inviting from the outside, you can bet it will be coveted by anyone walking by. Graffiti, broken glass, and lots of trash is an indication the location will not be looted by the passing mob for women and supplies. These people are going to be your biggest problem. Hungry, confused and frightened people are desperate, and they will do anything. Be as far away from the rioting mob as possible. If you happen to get caught up with them, act as they act and give them what they want. You just may survive if you play your cards right.

If you find yourself in the wilderness you can rig a shelter in or against a tree, or put together a small lean-to using fallen branches, moss, and leaves- whatever you can find to make it warm, waterproof and inconspicuous.

Survival of the fittest

Remember to keep yourself inconspicuous. You do not wish to be noticed in a SHTF scenario. Trust your instincts! I cannot say that enough. Your instincts will never lie to you. Common sense can be overlooked when the stress is high. You’re starving and just caught Sir Squirrel. You spark your fire with your trusty magnesium stick for a hot lunch break. Is this a suitable last meal? I know you’re salivating at the thought of devouring a gourmet squirrel, but you just started a fire in broad daylight! Anyone within miles can see the smoke plume, and they are undoubtedly just as partial to hot lunch as you are. Try to avoid walking in the open in daylight, too. You never know where stalking eyes hide. Always be as quiet as possible.

Knowledge is Power

The absolute best advice I can share is to always be prepared. Read the local and world news. Keep in touch with current events. Read survival books and blogs. Visit military surplus shops and look around and ask questions. They are a wonderful resource for survival information. And have some pretty cool toys, too!

Look at it the way- this is your ultimate Life Insurance. Granted, you may never need it, but if you have it you will be forever grateful you invested!

The Strays

Original Fiction Episodes
by @ArbitraryKitten

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