The City Girl's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse

in #apocalypse7 years ago (edited)

It’s the end of the world as you know it. Cities are burning down. The Powers That Be have scurried to their million dollar bunkers they were scammed into buying during the last apocalypse in 2012. Macy’s is in shambles, and looters are doing the happy dance over their pilfered flat screens.

Until they get them up the stairs and remember the electricity went out yesterday.

You barely made it out of your apartment building which is systematically being being ravaged room by room.

What’s a girl to do?

First things first, ditch the high heels. Sure they helped you climb the corporate ladder, but they will only make you easy prey for a range of problems starting with blisters and ending with predators. Your very best friend will be a quality pair of broken in hiking boots. Layer your tootsies with a light layering sock then a pair of thick wool socks to prevent blisters and ensure walking comfort. Packing a square of moleskin to apply when you feel friction will ensure a comfortable journey. And take Lieutenant Dan’s advice and change your socks whenever you break.

Bug Out Bag

Dig out your old college camping backpack. You may be able to fit the entire contents of your closet in your Coach purse, but lugging that long distances while constantly switching shoulders will compromise both your center of balance and patience.

Whichever Bug Out Bag (BOB) backpack you choose needs to be filled with only the essentials. Items you will need for survival to help you get to safety. Having your BOB packed and ready for an emergency, as well as field tested is essential! The moment the Shit Hits The Fan is not the time to realize you packed too much to carry! Don’t be like Reese Witherspoon- you don’t need a backpack so big it needs to be named! :)

Take a weekend hiking trip, or at least a day hike, with your pack full of what you propose you need.
Water is important, as is a sterilization method. LifeStraw is good for short term, PurifyCup for medium, and iodine tablets for a longer term. Just follow directions and, just like with anything, be sure to test it before you need it.

The Heat is On

Knowing how to make fire is a survival necessity, plus it makes that squirrel you just caught more palatable. Magnesium sticks are small and portable, and still work when wet unlike that cheap 711 lighter you keep in that altoids tin with your roaches.

Kick A$$

Your parents made you take Judo classes in third grade, and you are a regular at Kickboxing Tuesday at the gym. That is a decent start, but a few Self Defense classes are a must. What do you do when a crazed mad man who’s after your food and body suddenly jumps on you? Practicing real life fighting skills is a necessity; a class every woman should take- read the news is you need more convincing. Police departments usually offer them for free, and Armageddon aside, allows you to practice fighting off a real attacker out to harm you. Hesitation equals death in a survival situation.

Home Sweet Home

You’re gonna need to find a suitable crash pad. In an urban landscape you can find everything from abandoned building to trash dumpsters. It must keep you safe from both the elements and mobs of rioters and scavengers. Now is not the time to kick up your nesting instincts- the uglier the better! If it looks warm and inviting from the outside, you can bet it will be coveted by anyone walking by. Graffiti, broken glass, and lots of trash is an indication the location will not be looted by the passing mob for women and supplies. These people are going to be your biggest problem. Hungry, confused and frightened people are desperate, and they will do anything. Be as far away from the rioting mob as possible. If you happen to get caught up with them, act as they act and give them what they want. You just may survive if you play your cards right.

If you find yourself in the wilderness you can rig a shelter in or against a tree, or put together a small lean-to using fallen branches, moss, and leaves- whatever you can find to make it warm, waterproof and inconspicuous.

Survival of the fittest

Remember to keep yourself inconspicuous. You do not wish to be noticed in a SHTF scenario. Trust your instincts! I cannot say that enough. Your instincts will never lie to you. Common sense can be overlooked when the stress is high. You’re starving and just caught Sir Squirrel. You spark your fire with your trusty magnesium stick for a hot lunch break. Is this a suitable last meal? I know you’re salivating at the thought of devouring a gourmet squirrel, but you just started a fire in broad daylight! Anyone within miles can see the smoke plume, and they are undoubtedly just as partial to hot lunch as you are. Try to avoid walking in the open in daylight, too. You never know where stalking eyes hide. Always be as quiet as possible.

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Knowledge is Power

The absolute best advice I can share is to always be prepared. Read the local and world news. Keep in touch with current events. Read survival books and blogs. Visit military surplus shops and look around and ask questions. They are a wonderful resource for survival information. And have some pretty cool toys, too!

Look at it the way- this is your ultimate Life Insurance. Granted, you may never need it, but if you have it you will be forever grateful you invested!

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Oh NOOOES! You did not go there!!! I think everyone remembers the first time they heard this!!! LMAO

oh lord there's a fireeee

This was very informative and a very good read - While I think about this kind of thing a lot - it is nice to read it in a flow - as a step by step guide lol. I think learning it in a matter like you provide would help people to stay calmer too because what they read was very systematic. Upvoted and re-steemed! Thanks for sharing :)

I believe if you are "armed" with information, there is no room for panic. Panic is the biggest killer in any disaster scenario.

Thank you! That really means a lot :)

You are welcome and 100% right! :)

:)

I have more like these coming in the future, stay tuned ❤

Absolutely! :)

One more tip: Only burn clean, dry wood. There is an aborigines quip 'White man builds fire with Smoke' fires can be smokeless if they are free of green wood or contaminates. Great post, though I fear I'll never be a post apocalyptic female, though I'll probably die defending one 😟

Good tip!

There's some tips that are unisex, too ;)

Got it, no heels😟 But... They make my calves soooo sexy😂

See, they even make Pewdiepie look hard AF. 😂

Great advice! Do you mind if I write a post or two where I talk about Clothing? If you already have those topics in your writing queue then I'll leave it to you. Of course I'd link back to your original post.

Are you meaning like Post Apocalyptic Fashion?

My angle was going to be more practical. But, fashion would be a great angle to add life to the writing. e.g. Dress warm, blue is not an attractive skin colour. Dress to blend in, not stand out: you're not looking to build an Instragram following. Military chic might be in right now, but in an apocalypse it marks you out as somebody worth stalking.

Oh! Ok! Yea, that sounds awesome :) We can collaborate and link back to each others articles also if it makes sense :)

Ok. I wrote my article and linked yours: http://steemit.com/apocalypse/@eturnerx/post-apocalyptic-clothing
A bit lacking in flair, but that's what I'm trying to develop.

Actually, on second thoughts, I don't want to steal your voice. I might go with practical and leave the fashion to you. Then we can both post without copying each other.

This was so refreshing and such a unique twist on something that is always so written about. Never forget to kick a$$ I took a survial class a few years back and loved it. I honestly would recommend anyone to go spend a few days and take one in your local area or heck make it a unique vacation trip. You will learn so much that is very helpful in your every day life and that just in case moment. Be it zombies, flash flood, plague or just for fun these are ground rules for your survial.

I agree!

And, just rules for making it thru life unscathed if you read between the lines ;)

Really....roaches in my altoids tin....who does that....>>>This guy. lol

Who, you? Wait, lemme adjust that halo for ya ;)

Nicely done. You know the book Mole People: Life in the Tunnels Beneath New York City ? I think you'd dig it.

Is this based upon the true people who live underground?

From my understanding it is. Unless I'm a real sucker. I loved it. It's definitely a documentary-style book. Really really interesting. One of the people in it had been a lawyer and gave it all up...

Wow, yea, it looks good. I'm going to have to order a copy :)

Yes. Us too.

Love your rioting mob GIF. Can never have too many hubcaps.

It's the perfect trophy to mount on the wall, dontcha know?

Thank you :)

Hey Kitten another good post babe.
I'm ready for the STHF and glad your thinking along those lines too
Love your work.
@tremendospercy

Gratzia dear Tre ;)

Used to think about this a lot. Got the prepper bags ready just in case. No longer worry about this type of situation. Not saying I wouldn't fight to survive. It is instinctual. Just not sure about the aftermath. Is that the way I want to live? Who knows! 🐓🐓

Always good tips to haven in even "small" disasters. I remember a few years ago the registers were not working in Louisiana, I believe it was for a brief amount of time like 4 hours, and people were rioting and looting! $hit happens! lol

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