Ever noticed this about anxiety?
Whether you're going to an actual party or just going about your business, anxiety is there. For a socially anxious frayed knot like me, real parties or gatherings can be the worst. Most introverts detest small talk - I do too. But perversely, I often can't help myself from commenting to perfect strangers on things clearly only I find interesting or funny. I try to make a connection even though I know it is a futile effort - usually with some goofy pun or strange joke. I almost always walk away making faces at myself and wondering why I bother. I can't deal with people and yet I am drawn to them.
Maybe that's why I just stay home as much as I can! Avoid temptation and feeling misunderstood...