Self forgiveness blog 12: anger and accepting the system, believing it to be real and who we are

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to accept the current condition/state of this world/reality as just being ‘the way it is’, and within this, accepting the way that people are as being conditioned/brainwashed/a product of their environment and their own minds as normal/natural

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to live the statement “if you can’t beat them, join them” but accepting humans beings/this reality at face value as this being who we really are, and within that point of acceptance, trying to work with it, be like it and actually compete as being the best copy of this same point of what we are currently living as self dishonesty

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be angry at others for how they have been influenced/what they have become within the world system as corrupt, dishonest, doing everything they can in spitefulness towards life for money and their own self advancement, as I see, realize and understand that this anger is towards myself for believing this point of how people behave/what they have become to be real, judged it, feared it, and then copied it in hopes that I can compete with it and beat it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe self dishonesty to be normal/real/who we are, simply because it is so common and everyone is doing it

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to fear challenging self dishonesty because I have believed it to be real and feared the consequences of challenging self dishonesty

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when I found that I cooked not trust others as I did not see, realize or understand that they were simply following a preprogrammed logical system and that it had nothing to do with me and that I only found myself within such a situation because I was also self dishonest as a preprogrammed system following logic

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted and allowed myself to recognize that self dishonesty has become the norm within/as evidenced by my thoughts, feelings and emotions, and to not question these thoughts, feelings and emotions and believe them to be me/real/who I am simply because it is all I have ever known and thus take them at ‘face value’ without going beyond the surface of the face to see who I really am as life

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to seek a place/space where I can escape to where I don’t have to go through the challenge of questioning my mind as my thoughts/feelings and emotions and break my habits/patterns to do the work to see who I am and what I have accepted and allowed - I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want and create this safe space where I have all the money and power and relationships where I am not challenged and I only have servants and associated this safe space with a kind of warm/fuzzy feelings that can distract me from ever getting to know who I am and learning what it means to live for real

I commit myself to let go of the anger, spitefulness and judgment that I’ve harboured towards others and myself for who they are/how they behave/what they have become, as I see, realize and understand that this anger is about me believing this to be ‘who they are’ and within that, fearing this point/believing it to be real, and trying to also become it/join it/compete with it and that this is in act where my anger is mainly coming from

I commit myself to stop living the the statement ’if you can’t beat them, join them’ as a point of giving up, accepting/believing the mind to be real/who we are, and trying to fit in with/accept/compete within the world system/my mind system rather than to always continue to question it and find solutions

I commit myself to have the courage to challenge myself/others as the mind as a point of questioning/not participating in it, rather than to submit to it because I fear the consequences of challenging/questioning it, only to then eventually get angry/frustrated with myself and others because I did not have the courage to stand, question and challenge

I commit myself to stop the tendency towards seeking comforts/a safe place/security as insulation/separation from the system, as I see, realize and understand that this is based on a point of acceptance of the system/believing the system to be real and who I am and thus fearing the system and not allowing myself to question it but rather participate in it/desire to ‘make the best I can’ with the system