So basically, you take everything the bible says..throw it out the window...make up some stuff...and call it a day.

No, that's what you're doing. I'm working on the what the Bible actually says. It's you who's projecting a set of beliefs onto it, and throwing the content out.

And Yahweh liked the smell of burnt flesh, not roasted. It's called a "burnt offering", not roast lamb. Have you actually read the Bible?