I hereby grant myself the right to steal your stuff

What is my justification for having the right to rob you? Well, because I said so right here in the post title.

But, not to worry, I’m doing this to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for your common defense, promote Welfare, and secure the blessings of Liberty to you and your Posterity. BTW, If you fail to give me what I want, when I want it, then you have to give me more of your stuff. If you do not, I will lock you in my basement. If you resist, I will kill you. But don't think about that. Just remember, my purpose in life is to secure your natural Rights to Life, Liberty, and Property.

Ops... I meant, WE the people have the right to steal your stuff – how selfish of me. I’m acting on behalf of WE the people, and that includes YOU! So you’re welcome! (;