Young depressed, but talented part5

I'm fine mom, but I just stopped sleeping ... Since that crash, I have panic attacks. I still see her full blood, standing still in the window.
I hear an ambulance sound, two people analyze it and then cover it with a black blanket.
He died, and I chose only a few scratches. It's so unfair, my mother ... And we were dreaming, we dreamed of marrying in the next 5 years, having two children ... A girl with my hair and his eyes, and a boy, a boy to resemble him. Now I know this will never happen, and it hurts, Mom. I remember how perfect and thoughtful he was, and now he's gone. The driver who came in was drunk, he has no children, Mom? How does he feel now that he knows he has destroyed so many lives? I can not handle it anymore. Nights seem too long to me. I always hurt my head, and the desire to live still leaves me. Without it, nothing is the same. I do not want to eat, drink or live anymore. Why did life take it to me? Why us? Why could not it all be different? Mom, you have the feeling I'm fine, but I've been lying to you. The truth is, I'm not at all good. When you're not home, guy is left without a voice and crying until I have tears. I can not cure myself. I feel I'm going crazy. Everything is ready. I'll go to him, as soon as my mother, as soon as ...

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