The Trouble With Dreaming
I’m a natural dreamer (an ENFJ Idealist Teacher, if you wanna get technical about it, all you Keirsey enthusiasts). I am not interested in practicality. I am a believer of impractical things. This is how God wired me, and I like it that way.
I was talking with my mom on the phone yesterday about house-hunting, hairstyles, and Italian food. You know, the usual stuff… After finding the house of my dreams about two weeks ago,
- pause: let me paint this picture for you - -
Historic, 1920s house.. Original hardwood flooring, wainscoting, restored original cabinetry, complete with a front porch (that already had rocking chairs and a year’s worth of memories made as far as I was concerned).. Did I also mention that it is within walking distance to restaurants and coffee shops? Because it is. And it is perfect.
- now: back to reality - -
the dream came to an abrupt halt when my potential roommate decided it would be wiser for her to live closer to work and in a safer neighborhood (to which I replied “safety-schmafety! I don’t care about crime rates, I will buy a gun, and live happily ever after in this adorable house" Just kidding. I said "I understand”). It was a sad day for a hopeful heart.
My mom had just left her hair appointment and was filling me in on how she felt the tiniest bit disappointed that it didn’t turn out exactly like the picture she had shown her stylist. To which I replied, “You know what, mom? I feel like I always have hopes and expectations so high that even the best things are almost always slightly disappointing”. We had a really good laugh at the truth of that statement for both of us. Idealist problems at their finest, ladies and gentlemen.
We are dreamers! We believe that the absolute very best thing can happen to us at any moment! And we anxiously await for it do just that (and are genuinely surprised the times it doesn’t). So, therein lies the trouble with dreaming. In all its magic and whimsy, it can really set a girl up for heartache. That’s just how it works. Dreaming will hurt your heart sometimes and leave you wanting more, so many times. But still we dream, again and again.. Why? Because there are moments when our often unsatisfied hearts get to see God at work, weaving every tiny fragment into a better story than even WE (–> the crazy high expectation, spend-every-moment-imagining-the-best-ways-God-could-make-our-dreams-come-true dreamers) could have thought up ourselves. And it lives up to every ounce of promise. And that little piece of heaven on Earth is just enough to keep my candle burning.
At the risk of igniting visions of 80s Aerosmith music videos in your brain, I’ll end this short and sweet: dream on.