Being chronically ill
My Steemian-mate 'wakeupkitty' just wrote about it, how life is if you're chronically ill.
I want to continue her story by telling about depressions, my repeating depressions along with an anxiety disorder and ADD. What is left of your life then? It isn't much. A depression knocks you to the ground, hard, suddenly and without any mercy. A depression comes back, at least to me, when i'm doing okay, well, almost manic. Then I know 'the man with the hammer is dropping by anytime soon. It knocks you off your feet for hours, days or sometimes an entire week!
ADD plays a very important role when one is depressed.
It makes you chaotic, to forget things and your brain never has any rest. It lets you continuously mulling over things, but you don't get answers or solutions. Furthermore, people with ADD generally can't stand any injustice. Little things even. And you can't stop thinking about it and get frustrated.
The anxiety disorder makes that 'normal' things such as picking up the phone or doing groceries are almost impossible for me.
Often i'm literally sick, thinking of the fact i have to go to the supermarket. The fear and anxiety builds up, keeps me busy in my mind all day and at the end of the day, you have to conclude that it was impossible for you today, which isn't good for your selfconfidance. Maybe I can do it tomorrow. But even thinking of tomorrow makes me sick to the stomach, so you rather don't think about that. If someone brings up the word 'tomorrow', it's like I'm knocked off my feet in an instance. So please, don't mention that word if it's not absolutely necessary!
Having a haircut is not self-evident for me and 'the usual' daily tasks often become a problem.
Should you pity me? no, it won't help me and everybody has its own cross to bear.
Only a little understanding and consideration would be nice sometimes. But that I can not expect from people who do not know me. I have to take life day by day but often hour to hour, there aren't many things I can do but I always have to search in a creative way how to solve my handycaps, little by little, hour by hour and day by day.
Thank you very much for willing to read about my illnesses!
Please read the artical of wakeupkitty also:
https://steemit.com/life/@wakeupkitty/if-life-goes-on-without-you
You made a great blog out of it and I really hope people will wake up if it comes to how hard simple things are for both of us! Thanks for your support! It was a very brave thing to do to write this down.
Thank you very much, Kitty! Nowadays there are less taboo's if it concerns diseases. Hopefully people will wake up but you better not count on it. Sure, there are understanding people, but you have to protect yourself from disappointments.
It is a good think taboos get less. Many people suffer more of themmas their disease. We will wake them up for sure!
I think so too!