Don't Put Money Above Your Child's Health!

There is a saying that money frees you. It gives you an opportunity to pursue objectives and diversions you couldn’t do otherwise. Money also has the power to imprison. The thoughtless person seeks money at the expense of more potent, vital elements of his life. Money comes and goes. It can be earned again and again, but other things that are lost can never be regained. One of these is the time spent with a child.

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Undoubtedly, grievous pangs of regret and sorrow have been experienced by older couples who, when younger, attached more importance to self-gain and monetary accomplishments than to nurturing their offspring and developing serenity within the home.

Particularly during the first five or six years, the child needs steady, reliable, concerned, loving care. Those most able to give this are his parents. This isn’t to say that the care of a child should be relinquished once he has reached five or six years of age.

No, the child must be secure in the knowledge that someone is there to care for him and be concerned about him, someone who is vitally interested in his welfare.

While he is in the intermediate grades of elementary school, the child still needs the responsive attitudes of concerned parents, even though he is attaining more independence.

By sixth grade, he may be asserting himself to such a degree that he barely needs mom and dad around. But don’t let him fool you. If he has a stomach ache, if another boy wounds his pride with a punch in the jaw that sends him sprawling, or if his teacher scolds him unjustly, is he going to run to the stranger on the corner?

No, he will seek his parents. He very much needs their care. That is, unless he has lost confidence in his parents because they have ignored him, not given him the attention he requires, and simply don’t have time for him. He will bury his hurts within him, perhaps become a behavioral problem at school or merely appear as placid as before.

The hurt builds up within him because he has no one he can trust to reveal it to. There comes a time when he must finally spill it out, and the recipient is often a stranger, perhaps a psychiatrist or, unfortunately, the pusher on the corner who offers drugs, companionship, and belongingness.

All these years a parent has worked, earned money and made life more comfortable. What a pity that much of it has to be spent on psychiatric help for the child!

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Conclusively, I’ll share a personal experience. I remember a first-grader I encountered in a school I once taught in. The boy had a beautiful face and was exceptionally bright, but he had no self-control whatsoever. He couldn’t stay in his seat, and his mouth was always moving. I consulted another teacher. “He’s obviously disturbed,” I said, “and I want to be cautious about how I discipline him.”

“Ignore him!” she answered promptly. “The children are used to him, and you’ll get used to his antics too. Actually, he’s probably seeking attention, and when you give it to him you’re reinforcing his behavior.” Her voice became quieter, as if she were confiding in me. “He’s under psychiatric care. You see, both parents have their doctorates. They have always gone to school or worked, and this boy has had one babysitter after another. He has a very high IQ. Such a handsome boy too. It’s pitiful, isn’t it?”

Fortunately, his parents were able to afford extensive psychiatric care for their son. Even with all of the medical attention everyone was getting, I wonder if he came out for it unscathed.