#WellTrustMeNobodyGivesAShit

So your phone rings and it's a strange number calling. Seconds earlier, a friend had called but the conversation hadn't ended because her credit ended first.

Naturally when your phone rings a few seconds later and the caller is using a number you've never seen before, you think it's your friend using her aunt's or friend's phone so you answer enthusiastically, "Na hii mambo ya kupiganga simu na credit ya three bob tuamua kuiacha university."

And the caller chuckles. It's a male voice on the other side which you don't recognize. So you realize your mistake and adopt a formal voice like, "Hello this is Charles. Who am I talking to?"

And he goes like, "Hello Charles. My name is Stephen. Advocate. Good afternoon."

And he states his business, and you are able to assist accordingly. But it's only after the call ends that you realize you didn't ask this question that has been nagging at you relentlessly.

Dear advocates, why do you feel the urge to introduce yourself to strangers like that over the phone? I never heard a teacher say, "Hello Charles. My name is Jothefu. Teacher."

And no I'm not trying to equate being an advocate to being a teacher, or any other profession for that matter, it's just that sometimes what you do for a living has no relevance at all to the matter that prompted you to introduce yourself to folks.

Kind of reminds me of that one time when I watched Ahmednassir's interview on TV and he kept saying "Trust me. I'm a lawyer." after every sentence and you can only hear that for so long without yelling at the screen, "Yeah? So what?!!"

Or another time when I was at this meeting and when the registration form reached me, I noticed that someone had put down their name as "Dr. Opiyo A. Odhiambo. LL.B (UoN), Higher Dip. (KSL), LL.M (Warsaw University), LL.D (Leeds University). And he had managed to squeeze it all on that tiny space meant for the name only. All that! On a registration form! In a meeting. But why?

If I ever call you and go like, "Hello so and so, um, this is Charles; advocate. I was wondering...." feel free to hang up on me, then track me down and give me a good whipping with your belt. Trust me, I'll thank you later.

#TrustMeImALawyer
#WellTrustMeNobodyGivesAShit