This Old House

By Jared Ciofalo,

"The SoulTrekker"

There will always be periods in our lives when we encounter moments or a series of events where it seems like the entire Universe has pitted itself against you. You will feel like you want to give up…But you don’t.

This past week and a half was one of those periods for me, and oh boy did it really put me through the emotional ringer. Although I have to admit, it’s been quite interesting playing the role of the “observer” this time around as the very same emotions I once believed imprisoned me, resurfaced and revealed they still exist, but without their story holding any power over me.

Detachment is certainly a welcome breath of fresh air. However, you can be detached and still travel back in time, emotionally revisiting painful periods of your life and I did just that.

A journey back to a time when I used to believe all my self-destructive thoughts and the web of lies that held me captive in a severe state of depression and anxiety for over ten years. Because back then I truly believed I was unworthy, incapable, and that my life was of very little significance.

These thoughts ate at my soul and spun my head around so much they literally paralyzed me in a state of panic.

Now I’m not suggesting I didn’t feel the emotions tied to these thoughts this time too…I did. But the difference was now I know they’re only here making an appearance for me to notice whatever I haven’t resolved, let go of and totally transformed within myself.

I like to refer to the painful stories of the past as kind of like that old house you used to live in. You remember these stories because a lot of memories took place there, and maybe sometimes you even physically revisit them, but the important thing to remember is…that just like that old house, you don’t live in your painful stories anymore.