Insights on the Trail

On the Washington side of the Columbia River about 7 miles north into the hills is a valley running along Indian Creek that offers a walk through time.

The Weldon Wagon Trail runs through 400 acres of land that was once the property of the Klickitat chief and shaman Jacob Hunt. His actual name was Titcamnashat which means “Earth Thunder”. Before entering the trail, there is an old Indian cemetery nearby that is a must see. Many of the graves are unmarked, but it’s easy to find Titcamnashat’s gravestone and to read that he died in 1913 at the auspicious age of 108. Apparently his community lived along Indian Creek so the government granted him this land - land previously stolen from either the Kilcikitat or other tribes 100 years or so earlier. The story goes that he tried Christianity but returned to his native faith in the 1890s founding the Feather Cult of the Dreamer religion and his followers were known as “Spinners” for their ecstatic ceremonial dances.

This “road” or trail later became a wagon route for homesteaders who planted fruit orchards during the apple boom of the early 1900s and thankfully to this day much of this land has remained undeveloped and is protected by the Natural Resource Defense Council.

In the Columbia Gorge - Mt Hood - Mt Adams area we are accustomed to dramatic terrain and sweeping majestic views, but the Weldon Wagon trail is a simple pleasant hike among grassy rolling hills and groves forested with White Oak.

in 2015

We hiked this trail in late autumn 2015 on a damp day and it felt completely different with the fog and cool cloud cover, but we remembered the view of Mt. Hood at the end and the beautiful rolling hillsides and thought it would offer a cool shady hike for this hot summer day.

in 2015

Yesterday we enthusiastically and almost gleefully set out into the dappled trail that sheltered us from the already 90 degree F midday sun. After about 20 minutes on the trail, this pleasant tree canopy gave way to open sky with only intermittent groves of White Oak trees. I suppose that because it had been cloudy last time we didn’t realize how little shelter the trees actually offered throughout most of the trail.

Maybe it was the experience of being cooked in the hot sun, maybe it was the oppressively still air, or my running nose despite the very dry air, maybe it was the poison oak that carpeted the trail and seemed impossible to avoid, but within about an hour I found myself supremely irritated and in a state of silent muttering fury about pretty small problems: “why do we always chose such high elevations to hike? I f**ing hate walking up hill”, “it’s too hot, why aren’t there more trees”, “I’m getting burned, why didn’t I bring a hat”, “this damn dust and sun, I can’t see a damn thing” and on and on.

Lucy on my back and the obligatory bag of dog shit hanging from my pocket ;-)

I’m a firm believer in feeling my feelings rather than pushing them back, and a part of me remains coherent enough to know that I just need to give in and embrace the fury while not buying into any of the stories behind it. So I was just letting it rip - within me of course. However, I was pretty surprised at the extent of it. Being a person who makes an effort to digest my feelings as much as possible in the present or at least daily, I really didn’t expect to have so many unexpressed passions arise. It was as if someone had lit a match to me and I was a walking in flames.

I assumed I was alone in my feelings as we huffed and puffed and fried and plodded up the continuous incline. Suddenly Lucy my Yorkie darted forcefully after a lizard pulling the leash out of Rob’s hand and running some distance away. He dashed after her and when he reached down for her found that she had hundreds of pea-sized brown sharp sticker-burrs embedded in her fur.

He looked at me and with a very hot red face and restrained fury said “I’ve got a bad feeling about this place, it’s powerful and something bad might happen, I think we should turn around”. I had my own boiling fury going on and said that I was just trying to get though this and I wasn't confident I could make a good decision about whether to turn back so suggested we walk another 10 minutes or so to think about it.

I believe in the power of a place as well as in the ever-present opportunity for transformation. Instinctively I began a silent prayer giving thanks for this place and all the gifts it offered, for the beautiful land, the amazing snakes, gophers, herds of elk galloping down the hillsides, even for the bright sun and for the healing we were in the midst of.

As I did this my fury slowly melted and was replaced by a kind of cool respite. I breathed in deeply, feeling the new breeze that was picking up and noticed that some clouds were rolling in offering us relief from the sun. I kept feeling better minute by minute and soon Rob turned back and I could see the peace on his face too. He smiled as he said he didn’t know what happened but that the foreboding had gone away and that he felt well and wanted to keep going.

I believe this place was indeed powerful but not in a harmful or cursed way, instead in its capacity to heal. Both Rob and I were harboring lots of tensions and stresses and as we spent more time in this land, these were magnified by our circumstances and we had the opportunity to release them. Once I altered my perception internally, my internal experience changed and this was reflected in what I experienced around me, actually for both of us.

This was a potent lesson for me at a time when I needed it. I wrote recently about making a Kali Yantra and my intention to transform my financial limitations. At this point in my process, I have needed to witness that I do in fact have the power to affect my life, my reality; to experience that my actions matter and can affect my world and even others in positive ways. Also that my experience in my life is often a reflection, a projection of my internal landscape, so I can trust my instincts to fix my inner landscape first. One of the big struggles that I’ve been noticing as I grow and heal my previous financial realities is the despair and resulting feelings of helplessness and shame that are rooted in the erroneous belief that I have no say in how my life goes financially and no power to affect it. These are self-defeating beliefs which have had a whole lot of power in the past and I’ve needed to experience many examples contradicting them to let them go fully.

burned and sweaty but thankfully windblown and happy

This was one of the many answers and experiences I've had recently that have been so helpful in bit by bit transforming my process of financial empowerment. I’m pleased to say that these old ways of thinking and framing myself, my life and the world at large are melting rapidly.

Lastly I’d like to finish with a refreshing moment from the drive home. Hood River is the windsurfing capital of the world and experts and lovers of the sport congregate here year round for the amazing conditions, beautiful scenery and world class competitions. This parachute windsurfer was doing 15 foot jumps as we stood there watching mezmerized. I just love coming out here to watch these incredible athletes have the time of their lives and in such a beautiful place!

parachute wind-surfer on the Columbia River, the town of Hood River behind, and Mt. Hood to top it all off

gratuitous photo of Lucy on the drive home