I graduated on a theme of short story on University of philosophy and I can tell you that it's a nice short story. You know how to write and have a feeling for it. The best thing in writing is to have a feeling to create a story - it's start, middle, highest dramatic point and the end.
For me, the most passionate stories are the real ones. Then you don't need to create a fiction, just put on paper what happened but we have to look on a style then. To chose a right style is as important as a story itself. Right words and sentences... But it all comes with a writing and time.
Once we have a writer as guest on a seminar and he told us: 'It's a work just like and other work and you can learn it. Just write!'