I wish my vote was worth something so i could give you something. Reading this has made me feel a little less alone, one of the beauties of this online world.

Just as the wise elders of medicine tribes have identified social isolation and a sense of lack of belonging in strong community as the core root of addiction, I found myself sitting right in the middle of that truth

I too have an addictive personality, and have drawn similar conclusions to your self about why that is. The biggest distortion i have over come was a 17 year battle with Bulimia, which started at the age of 11 and finally came to an end at the age of 28. How i didn't die and made it through relatively unscathed i honestly have no idea. I have a few minor complaints as a result of it but i'm so lucky that im not incredibly fucked up physically.

It was my escapism, the binge episodes took my mind off thinking, and the purge episodes emptied all the pain, some weird thing set in my head where i would temporarily feel relief from the excruciating sense of isolation when my stomach didn't even have any bile in it, my head would be dizzy, my body would feel weak, i would lie on the bed and have a temporary moment of peace.

From about 23-28 i would say i was starting to turn a corner, the episodes got less frequent. One day almost 2 years ago i just decided that's it, I have to stop. I had told my self that 100's of times, and I don't know what made that decision stick, maybe meeting my boyfriend, finally finding someone who i can relate to on a level i had not encountered my entire life, but i also started smoking a lot of cannabis too, maybe it was both. I potentially swapped one bad habit for another, but it's only recently i made that connection, it's only very recently i've looked at my self and thought shit, im smoking this pretty much every day. However, i think it's a good thing, it broke that cycle and is far less detrimental to my health- maybe that's denial talking.

Over the last month or so i've cut that down to 2 or 3 nights a week, which is most likely why im struggling a little more with the depression. Your 5-HTP advice came at a good time, i didn't manage to find some in town, so i've ordered it online.

I feel somewhat better about life in general but i still carry all those same feelings of isolation etc, one reason i have turned to blogging. I have been on Steemit just over a week, and it has helped, i have read some amazing posts and connected with some really insightful people. But yes, the paradox- I have spent hours a day on here, i have to be mindful of my self.

I am slowly figuring out better ways to deal with things, but the flip side to this also is- What is normal? Who decided what was an addiction level and what was not? and who were the subjects? Your every day joe who does not expand their thinking a great deal more than their basic conditioning? Going to work, watching TV, going to the pub on the weekend? Smoking or drinking x amount for that person may be a problematic level based on, i dont know, levels of stress they were displaying. But for other's such as many people here, smoking cannabis or drinking 2 or 3 times a week when your brain output is 4 times that (just an example) of the 'normal' may not be a problem. Maybe it's necessary? I am not saying that this is what i actually think, just something i have pondered, what level are we striving for, who set it?

Ancients from all sorts of cultures used plant medicines, it was an integral part of many of their cultures, maybe one part of the problem is that we've been denied these medicines, i even read something recently which points as Jesus being an avid mushroom user. Maybe our sickness is that we are disconnected not only from each other but nature and the universe too. Do plant medicines connect you briefly to that?
And Remind you that you're not alone, just in a temporary physical body. I am feeling like i may get a lot of hate for this post. Oh well. I dont think they would be something intended for daily use, here lies the 'problem' when using them recreationally, they weren't designed for that. But it would seem that they were integral in older civilisations, and look at some of the things they accomplished which we cannot replicate today.

I want to try ayahuasca some day, it will be a long time before i will be able to financially do that, but it's on my bucket list. I hope it helps you on your journey :)