RE: On post-abortion trauma: what women need to know
Hi @tmendieta, thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life, and congratulations on becoming a mother, I have 3 girls myself. Birth is such a huge, amazing life changing event and it really can bring up so many memories and traumas for us, what our body and our minds go through during and after is so amazing but also so full on, it really can bring up past trauma as in birthing our babies we are re birthing ourselves into motherhood, bringing so much up to the surface. It is normal to have these feelings and emotions about the baby you never had, but you did what was best for you and you need to make peace with that. You would not be were you are today with you beautiful daughter if you chose differently.
I would suggest having a little, ceremony for that little soul, you need to honour that life but you also need to let it go so that you can move forward. I really feel for you at this time, thank you for you honesty and bravery in speaking out. You are at the start of your journey into motherhood, please feel free to contact me if you need anything xx much love and respect to you mama xx
Thanks for your support, and while I know you mean well, I simply cannot justify the action that I took (the end doesn't justify the means). I know that some will take that to mean that I'm just being too hard on myself but the way I see it, it's crucial that I be honest with myself first and foremost about what I've done, no matter how unpleasant it may be as only the truth will set me free in the end. I've already tried making up excuses in the past and that didn't work out so well for me as it only prolonged my trauma. That's why writing this piece was so important because I actually do feel much better now that I've released this burden.
I do like the idea of doing a kind of memorial, though, to honor my first child's memory as you suggested, and that is something I intend to do in the future.
I understand what you are saying, making peace with yourself is important though, that and acceptance, both are different than agreeing, I am happy to hear you feel better after writing about it x