To new Chapters!

I've been listening to a few vlogs lately, and there seems to be a repetitive “message” that is reaching out to me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m meant to hear it, because I want to hear it, or maybe a bit of both… but I suppose that doesn’t really matter. The point is, it resonates deeply, so I’m choosing to take it as it is delivered.

I’ve always believed that very little in life happens purely by chance. Even the smallest moments… you know; those words that land at just the right time or those gentle nudges in a certain direction - they all feel like they are part of a bigger picture somehow. Personally, I like to think of them as little road signs, guiding us when we’re unsure and steering our ship back onto the path it is supposed to be on. And right now, those signs have been flashing at me in multi colour neon, lol!

So, I thought I’d share this here, because if this message is speaking to me, then perhaps it will speak to someone else too.

For as far back as I can even remember, I have been holding onto something that was never truly going to materialise - much to my disappointment. I wrapped my heart around it, nurtured it, willed it into existence in my mind, heart and soul.. But unfortunately (well maybe not unfortunately) reality had other plans, and as time went on, the dream of it began to fade. Except, I refused to let it go. Instead, I clung to it so tightly that it started to eat away at me, like a slow, silent ache which I had to walk around carrying every single day. And somewhere in all of that, I lost a part of myself in the rubble of wanting it so badly.

Throughout all of this, as well as through other experiences in my life (yeah, clearly I am a slow learner, lol) when something is not really meant for us, there is literally no amount of hoping, wishing, waiting or even willing that can make it ours… and holding onto the idea of it? Yeah, well…that only keeps our feet stuck in a space they were never meant to stay. Everything around me… every little sign, every gut feeling, or moment of contemplation has been telling me the same thing over and over and over again - it’s time to move on.

Letting go of something you’ve gripped onto for so long is a really weird feeling… I guess I would equate it to free-falling… out of a plane, with no parachute haha! I have walked around with this incessant knot in my tummy for months now, resisting the thought of letting go… but I had to and once I stopped being so darn difficult with myself, once I loosened my grip and allowed myself to accept what is instead of what I wished it could be, I definitely felt lighter. Every single day that ticks away… the weight of it all lessens, and I find I can breathe more easily again. And I will tell you something - liberation is a much better feeling than “longing” ever was..

So often we navigate our way through our lives with blinkers on (or rose tinted glasses as I used to tell my mom) especially when it comes to the things closest to our hearts. We paint and decorate things in colours they were never meant to be, stupidly convincing ourselves of what could be instead of seeing what is. And it is absolutely soul-destroying, whether we realise it or not. And you know what, we are often our own worst enemy, because we are standing in our own way fearing the unknown, refusing to listen to the signals that are trying so very hard to direct us to something better… something which was actually meant for us.

The moment we stop clinging to things that were never really ours to begin with, it somehow all starts falling into place in ways we never expected. So I am going to continue taking deep breaths and just trusting the process! Hope you all have a lekker Thursday day overflowing with good vibes, plenty laughs and trust in whatever happens next! Go be fabulous! I have a busy one ahead, with plenty of running around to do… but rather busy than bored!
Happy Klein Vrydag 👏😁☀️🌷

❤❤❤

Until next time...
Much Love from Country Bumpkinland, South Africa xxx
Jaynielea

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